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Three reasons for studying in a diffrent country


new writer 1 / 1  
Jul 28, 2010   #1
Hallo everyone! I am trying to learn english therefore I need some help. I wrote my first essay yesterday. So I would be very happy if someone help me and say my errors.

thanks

Why study abroad
Nowadays more and more students choose the universities in foreign countries. From my point of view, there are three reasons for studying abroad. The first one is to possess world standard education. When I was in school, I dreamed of studying in a foreign country, especially in Western Europe. Being independent and exploring the unknown attracted my attention. I always had a desire to learn and get to know foreign people and their culture. Germany is one of the industrialized countries where the technology has been sophisticated and there are many study facilities. Because of these reasons and world standard education I decided to go to Germany and studied at the FH Anhalt University, one of the best universities.

Furthermore, the other reason for studying abroad is the career development. People should have world recognizable skills to be the best in their own work field. For example, my brother studied as a construction engineer in Germany. Today he has his own company which constructs buildings with best qualities. He is not only a good engineer but also a good translator.

Finally, the last reason is the individual development. People who studied in foreign developed countries learn the culture of the country. When they come back, they import the culture owned from abroad. And they influence their families, friends and their colleagues by good way. My time in Germany has already been filled with many adventures and individual developments. Today I never come late to my work, never throw away my trash on the street and do my work exactly and punctually even though it is sometimes hard. I think these are my individual improvements I learned from German culture and I am very proud that I have been there.

In conclusion, from the reasons and examples mentioned above we can see how important it is to study abroad. With your world standard education and your individual development, you can make the best career, work where you want and finally you can live as happy as you have ever wished.

Azeri 10 / 137  
Jul 29, 2010   #2
I suggest to start a new para here:
The first one is to possess world standard education.

in academic essays. you may replace it with more general term "people", for example.
celia19O5 - / 1  
Jul 29, 2010   #3
I agree with Azeri. I see no serious grammars errors in your essay, just pay more attention to vocaburaly. And your essay will be much better :)
OP new writer 1 / 1  
Jul 29, 2010   #4
thanks a lot guys! I am very glad that I am signed up hier and met so nice guys here... I will pay more attention to vocabulary. Thanks guys!!!


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