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the time from birth to twelve years is the most important period in life time?

thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 25, 2009   #1
i am preparing for ielts, however, my writing is bad, could u help me check and find out my mistakes? thanks so muc h

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person's childhood years (the time from birth to twelve years of age) are the most important years of a person's life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Some people believe that the most important period in a person's life time is childhood. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with this pinion because a person's childhood is the time when characteristics create and develop, and during this period, it is easy for a person to acquire and improve his experience and knowledge.

First of all, childhood period is the most essential time for children to form and develop their characteristics and. When a child comes in to the world, he does not know anything surrounding him. When he grows up, people living around him will teach him about the life and help him recognize, differ bad things and good things. I believe that whether or not he becomes a good adult depends on his living environment. If people surrounding him are bad, they behave together in negative ways in daily life and tell him that whatever they do is good and encourage follow them, he will be likely to become a bad man in the future. In contrast, if he grows in good condition: people around him are well educated and behaved, they teach him how to do good thing as well as avoid doing bad thing in the life, it is more likely that he will be a good adult when he is old.

Furthermore, scientists show that the period of a person's life time when he can learn quickest is in this period. From three to five years old is a special time for children to explore the world, and in this period, they can learn language very fast. Scientists also indicate that the numbers of new words a child can learn and remember is much more than an adult does when they learn a foreign language. Consequently, if a child is educated well in this time, he can develop his capabilities and achieve a good background knowledge which is cornerstone for his development in the future.

In a word, the period from the birth to twelve years of age is an essential time in one's life time. In this time, if a child grows in a good condition, he can get not only good characteristics, but he also can achieve important knowledge cornerstone for improve his abilities in the future.
10healyc 2 / 2  
Oct 25, 2009   #2
I feel like this is too general, even your examples. Since they are supposed to be specific examples, your speech can be less casual and little more scientific in tone. That will help it feel more specific.
OP thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 25, 2009   #3
hi Clare Healy, thanks for your comment
however, i find that your comment is less useful
what i need are detail comment not like yours

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