Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


VK WSSH 8 / 8  
Sep 15, 2016   #1
Globalization makes every single land getting closer. Traveling is to be a top list every people in the world, it is such a trend among us. People mark their map to find a new leisure experience. Consequently, before taking a holiday you should know a few of informations behind traveling due to the fact that there are positive and negative in traveling.

The positivity of traveling are walk overseas can open your minds. You could see other cultures that can broaden the horizon of nation diversities and even their personality. Tourists splurge much money that is good for raising the prosperity of people around the tourist destination.

Lastly, even though traveling have some positive it have negativity on the other side. Tourism can affect natural environment. Vandalism occurs happened to coral reefs at Bali's see recently. Local culture threatened with foreign culture brought by overseas tourists. It cause local citizens have to adapt inevitably.

In conclusion, among of the positive and negative have a same portion of effect. Tourism can bring some advantage and disadvantage for nature and people. So, please don't do negative activity and please traveling wisely.

mem77 62 / 98 6  
Sep 15, 2016   #2
hello vkwssh, it was a very interesting essay and i really appreciate with your efforts. but i have some comment for you to make your essay more good.

at the last sentence of the last paragraph, because of this essay is a formal one, you cannot to cut down your word. you write ".... don't do negative activity and please traveling wisely." it should good to write like this "... do not do negative activity and please traveling wisely."

that's all from me, and also keep practice and learn!