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About a time you learned a valuable lesson. Describe what happened and what the lesson was.

hoangan13 1 / - 1  
Oct 25, 2016   #1
When I got ready to move to the US, I've though I got everything as clothing, the new culture, new school, especially the vehicle. I searched online how to drive a car, what kind of car, and how to control the wheel. I also asked my cousin in the US about it, he just answered: "the best ways were you don't need to know about it, you would know it when you drive it". I didn't believe it. I was searching until I came to the US. At that time, there were four people in my family came to the US. "Everybody has to learn how to drive car," My cousin said. And he also said: "I counted on your ability, An".

Step by step, we had to learn about the rule before we drove a car. The rule is different with everything that I searched. When we took the writing test, I failed - only me failed. I started disappointing about myself. After the test, other people were taught how to drive a car by the cousin. My mother gave me some idea to remember the rule and one sentence: "Don't give up, failure is mother of success". It was propelling me, and after one week, I decided to take the test again. I've passed since then. I couldn't learn to drive because it's not my turn. I had to wait for other people passing the road test. I always went together when they practiced driving. I always listened to my cousin's lesson. Everybody gradually passed the Driver license test. And then my turn is coming, at the first time, I had to sit on driver seat, I was really confusing, forgot every what I searched and heard before. I drove his car bump into the curb what in front of us. He-my cousin has lost his trust for me since then. He's always worried when I drove." You had to go ahead or back up so slowly" he yelled me. I drove the car slowly go ahead, the first intersection I met, I was really nervous, I didn't know how to control the front-wheel. Luckily, the light was in red. He continued yelled: "Braking the car, braking the car". His face looked like a monkey, he's scare, along with the wrath. Even though I did it as safely as I could. Since then, I gradually have driven the car better than before. Last recommend from him:" when you drive in the driver test, you'll be careful not to do any wrong things what it was made you fail". Finally, I have passed the test. I also realized that I had to learn more through the actual experience, it doesn't simply as knowledge.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,515 2957  
Oct 25, 2016   #2
An, your essay is very difficult to read because the grammar is not good at all. It makes the reader anxious while reading it because your expression is not being expressed in an understandable manner. This essay really needs a lot of work so let me help you by rewriting this essay for you. After I rewrite it, do not change anything. Just use the version I will be giving you. That is the best way to clean up your work at this point.

When I first arrived in the United States, I knew that I would have to drive a car in order to get around my community. However, I did not realize that there weere such strict rules in driving in the U.S.. So, what I thought would be a simple process of just getting behind the wheel and stepping on the gas then off I would be to my destinantion was incorrect. Turns out, I needed more preparation than just a willingness to drive before I could really get behind the wheel.

My cousin, who had much faith in my potential to become a good driver, tried to help me learn the rules of the road before I took the written test for a student permit. While my other family members passed the test, I failed. My mother, trying to help me feel better after my failure told me that I mustn't give up because I would eventually succeed. She was right After a week, I retook and passed the test.

Admittedly, my cousin lost his faith in me because I failed to pass the test my first time out. So he was very anxious when we started my driving lesson. He kept on yelling at me instead of instructing me. He scared me during our lessons so I did not do a good job the first few times. As soon as I got comfortable behind the wheel though, driving came almost naturally to me. My cousin was convinced I was going to fail the practical test because of his little faith in me, even when I showed him improvement. So, when I took the practical driving test and I passed on my first try, he was surprised. Yet, it somehow restored his faith in me.

So, what was the lesson that I learned from my travails as a new driver? Don't let the lessons stress you out. If you want to succeed at something, you have to do it at your own pace. More importantly, it is important for me to keep believing and having faith in myself when everyone else around me has lost confidence in me. I will succeed as long as I believe in my abilities. The opinion of others, specially when it is negative, shouldn't matter to me.
dils 20 / 33 2  
Oct 28, 2016   #3
Hi An Luu,

Related your writing, here some suggestions for you.

..., I've though I got everything...
..., I though I had already gotten everything...

I searched online how to drive a car...
I searched how to drive a car, what kind of car, and how to control the wheel on internet.

the best ways were you don't ...
the best way is you don't need to know about it,....

before we driving a car.

My mother gave me some ideas ...

Good luck

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