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[IELTS 1] Time Spent in different media by teenagers and US Adults.


ritairianti 3 / 12 4  
Sep 26, 2014   #1
This is my first writting in here, please help me friends.

The line graph below shows the time spent wit different media by children and teenagers per day. The table below shows the average time spent per day with major media by adults from 2010 to 2013.

summarise the information in both the graph and table by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The line graph present data about teenagers who spend the time with five variant media per-day in hours and the table illustrates about United State Adults who waste the time with plenty of media per-day in minutes over a four year period, from 2010 till 2013.Overall mostly inhabitant watch television as the best choice to spend their time, it shows between line graph and table.

According from the graph, music and audio are quite popular with 3 hours per-day and become the second options to spend the time among teenagers between 18 years old, in contrast with US Adults prefer spend the time approximately 170 minutes each day with internet than audio visual with 89 minutes in 2013.

Print media such as Newspaper and Magazine are less popular than other media. US Adults spend the time with below 45 minutes each day for over four years and teenagers spend their time with read print media just under an hour each day.



lastsky 3 / 5 1  
Sep 26, 2014   #2
The line graph present data about teenagers who spend the time with five variant media per-day

The line graph presents data about teenagers who spendspent the time with five variant media per-day

please note singular and plural,past tenses
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Sep 26, 2014   #3
Hy, ritairiantri. You write a proper structure for IELTS task 1. However, let me give few suggestions.

wit

did you mean with ?

The line graph present

A grammatical issue
The line graph presents or the line graphs present

The line graph present data about teenagers who spend the time with five variant media per-day in hours and the table illustrates about United State Adults who waste the time with plenty of media per-day in minutes over a four year period, from 2010 till 2013.

This kind of bulky paragraph containing too much information. Possibly, It is better if you break it down to two paragraphs.
the right parallelism must be from... to...

Overall mostly inhabitant watch television as the best choice to spend their time, it shows betweenboth on the line graph and table.

I suggest you to separate your intro and your overview part. Clearly written or paraphrasechildren and teenager instead write inhabitant as it attached in your prompt.

Accordingfromto the graph

According from the graph, music and audio are quite popular with 3 hours per-day and become the second options to spend the time among teenagers between 18 years old, in contrast with US Adults prefer spend the time approximately 170 minutes each day with internet than audio visual with 89 minutes in 2013.

If you could, try to separate it. I am not too keen that a paragraph just contains with a sentence.

I agree that such prompt is the advance one which include much information. So it should be difficult to make a proper report. I guess that you need more than 20 minutes to complete it, so do I if I face this prompt :DD

Another suggestions for you are pay attention about the tense use and attach full part of the prompt. I saw you use full of simple present while the prompt depicts the past data (2010-2013). Furthermore, you are not report data on Mobile and the groups from 8 to 12 years old . Try to include in in your essay to increase your mark.

Overall, this is good and hopefully those work for you :)
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Sep 27, 2014   #4
The line graph present data about teenagers who spend the time with five variant media per-day in hours and the table illustrates about United State Adults who waste the time with plenty of media per-day in minutes over a four year period, from 2010 till 2013.Overallmostly inhabitant watch television as the best choice to spend their time, it shows between line graph and table.

rita, if I'm not mistaken,I found some incorrect grammars. Allow me to rewrite your writing;
The line graph presents data about teenagers who spent the time with five variant medias per-day in hours and the table illustrates about United State Adults who wasted the time with plenty of media per-day in minutes over a four-year period, from 2010 till 2013.Overall, mostly inhabitant watch television as the best choice to spend their time, it shows between line graph and table.

overall, your writing is good. Good Luck! :)
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Sep 27, 2014   #5
The line graph presentsdatathe information about teenagers young people who spend the time with five variant media per-day in hours and the table illustrates about United State Adults adult people in America who waste the time with plenty of media per-day in minutes over a four year period, from 2010 till 2013.Overall mostly inhabitant watch television as the best choice to spend their time, it shows between line graph and table.

Let me try to give introductory and overview paragraph;
The line graph compares the information about teenagers and children spending time in five kinds of media per day and it is measured in hours. In addition, the table presents how adults in America kill the average time per day in minutes of major media between 2011 and 2013. It is clear that electronic media is the popular media which catch young and old people's attention to spend their time.
OP ritairianti 3 / 12 4  
Sep 28, 2014   #6
hey guys, i'm totally appreciate every single feedback so much helpful for me.
i will trying hard in the next writing.

thanks in advance. :)


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