Hello Essay Forum, this is my first thread, with my writing practice of TOEFL. because I need some help to improve my writing skills,and any help would be appreciated. :)
-----------------------
Question: Can teachers be both popular(students like them) and helpful to students?
Answer:
It has been long debated that if the popularity and the effectiveness to students' learning of a teacher are inversely affecting each other or not. While some people may think, as popularity grows, effectiveness will decline for some of the necessary strictness in education is sacrificed to maintain the harmonic and peaceful atmosphere in class, I beg for differ to claim that, there are some methods that an educator can become both popular and effective for the students, because in most of the cases I have encountered, popularity actually came from effectiveness, and being humorous is also a good example of being effective.
First of all, students aim for good grades, and they would reach for whatever takes them to the goal. Thus, most of them would tend to stay in a more effective teacher's class rather than a less effective one, thus, becoming an effective teacher is a good way to gain popularity. For example, my high school math teacher is an old man who doesn't make any jokes or show any sense of humor in class, but because of his way of teaching is so understandable, making the math concepts rather easy to remember, students love him very much that everyone taking his class is thankful, and appreciated him. Therefore, he becomes one of the most popular teachers in our school.
Secondly, there are many ways of making knowledge easier to remember, and one of them, is a method which makes the teacher become popular among students, that is, telling jokes. And as the students like the class and the teacher so much because of the jokes, they become more likely to remember what the teacher is giving them. For instance, if the teacher is good at telling jokes which is related to the knowledge that is necessary for the students to keep in mind, the student will remember the joke because it is fun, and then recall the knowledge after all. Thus, the teacher becomes effective to the students while being popular.
Accordingly, effectiveness and popularity tends to come together when it is about teaching and learning in my experience, because students will always opt for the best for their academic performance. This is why I disagree with the statement of there exists a conflict between effectiveness and popularity.
-----------------------
Thank you for reading, and it will be great if you leave some comment :)
Hi Julian, welcome to EssayForum :)
1st paragraph:
- It has been long debated that ifwhether the popularity and the effectiveness...
- While some people may think............................... example of being effective. (this sentence is too-long, inaccurate, and confusing. Try to avoid making the same mistake in the next practice. It is better to separate them and make it easy-to-read)
2nd paragraph:
- For example, my high school math teacher is an old man who doesn'tdoes not make any jokes or ........... is thankful, and appreciated him. (another too-long-but-confusing sentence)
3rd paragraph:
- SecondlySecond of all , there are many ways of making....... (it is related to the previous paragraph. If you wrote "Firstly" that would be okay)
- AndIn addition, as the students like the class........ (avoid using "And" in the beginning of the sentence)
4th paragraph:
- try to add a recommendation/fear/hope for the future in the last sentence
As you can see Julian, some corrections have been addressed. I hope that you can follow through the feedback above. Good luck for the next practice :)
Hi Mochtar, thanks for the feedback, I'll think through the corrections and do some improvements :)
nice essay overall! like the person above said, just the grammatical errors! :)
Hi Julian, as I read through your essay, I must say that you are able to create an argument worth reading. The points you highlighted is very realistic, it happens in our daily lives and more importantly, it is indeed a debatable topic as to the fact that teachers can be both effective and quiet entertaining of they will.
As for my experience, an effective teacher is somebody who can and able to interact with the students, it makes learning more fun and honestly, there's nothing wrong with having fun while learning, though the boundaries should be set, the students will be able to learn and grasp the lessons better when they get along with the teachers.
Going back to your essay, below are my thoughts;
1st paragraph
- It has been a long debated topic
- the harmonicharmonious and peaceful - atmosphere in the class,
3rd paragraph
- Secondly, there are many ways of makingacquiring knowledge easier to remember, and one of them,
Last paragraph
- for the best for their academic performance.
- the statement of there existsnotion that a conflict between effectiveness and popularity exist .
There you have it Julian, I hope this modification helps!
