Tools to attract people to work.

please help me to correct my essay,i want to deliver this essay to my english language teacher. thank you in advance.

Subject:
Some people argue that government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they access to internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment.

Of course governments in each country want to reduce unemployment and develop their economic situation by different plans. They suggest lots of program for a period of years and try to perform the plans and see how these managements effect on unemployment, by observing statistics. Writing about this subject and explain that how these kinds of plans can have helpful effect on unemployment is a little specialized, and need right statistics to understand how these scheme reduce the people who are out of working, but I try to explain my general knowledge and explain my observation about this, to see "is these plans helpful or no?" if I want to develop my speech I should divide the countries to two groups, developed and under developed countries. The plans of reducing unemployment problems are quite different in these two groups.

In developed countries the problem of unemployment do not related to lack of jobs, most problem belong to quality of jobs and the ability of persons who want to do these jobs, because of this managers and industries owners try to give people lots of privileges such as mobile phone and internet access to encourage population to work for them and employ enough power of working for themselves., and they can find more active staff. In addition of attractive effect of these privileges, governments improve the knowledge of workers by letting them to use internet network.

In most of under developed countries there is not enough vacant jobs for youngmen, so bosses or managers have enough power of workers and cause of this they do not spend more money to offer to employers. In these countries government just try to make new job's opportunity to reduce unemployed people without any more privileges. Having a good income with a suitable going and returning facilities are the best benefits that these governments can offer to people who are out of working.

Thus, depends of that the countries are in which level of economics situation and what percentage of population are unemployed, they choose different ways to lessen unemployment by using public money. Some more strong countries offer mobile and internet access to attract people to work and some poorer countries do this just by offering theme good going and returning facilities. In my opinion all benefits that governments give to workers are necessary, because governments can use the advantages as tools to attract more employers or letting them to improve their knowledge by benefits such as internet access.

Is this an essay or a speech?

I'm not sure where your essay/speech starts. In the paragraph that begins with "Of course," you seem to be starting but then talk about the writing process.

I like the idea of dividing countries into developing and developed, with the understanding that unemployment problems and policies will differ depending upon the overall level of economic development of the nation. However, I think you overstate the difference. In the United States, for example, there are not enough jobs for everyone either. There's a whole underclass of permanently unemployed folks who aren't even counted in unemployment statistics because they have given up looking for work. And there is always some officially recognized unemployment. Furthermore, the Federal Reserve has at times acted to keep unemployment from dropping too low. There's a demonstrated inverse relationship between inflation and unemployment, and so some economists worry that inflation will rise if too many people are employed. The explanation for the inverse relationship is that what some have called "the reserve army of the unemployed" has a necessary function in capitalism: that of keeping wages (and, therefore, inflation) down because there's always somebody ready to step in and do the job for less money.

I also think you misunderstand the heart of the question -- the cell phones and internet access. Nobody is suggesting that these be given to already employed workers as perks. The idea is that access to these tools of communication will help unemployed people to locate job opportunities, arrange job interviews, etc.

thank you simone,it is an essay.i will vanish the word "ofcourse".
and about the main aim of essay i should say i just wrote my observation,i mentioned that at the first of my essay.

i didnt catch the meaning of your last paragraph,could you explain it more.
"whats the main meaning of the subject?"
thank you so much.

Here's what you said is the subject:


If this is the subject, then your essay should focus on whether or not this is a good strategy for reducing unemployment.

You write:


But, offering mobiles and internet access is not meant to attract people to work. It's meant to help people who already want to work to actually find job opportunities, contact potential employers, have a telephone number at which potential employers can reach them, etc., etc.

You seem to be using the term "workers" to refer both to people who have jobs, and to people who need jobs, whether they have them or not. However, the essay prompt specifically asks you about a plan to help the unemployed, i.e. those who have no work. As a result, your use of the same term to mean two different things (equivocation) leads to a fair amount of confusion. Also, while you are to be commended for thinking about the causes of unemployment before trying to answer this sort of prompt, you may go into them a bit too deeply, at the expense of discussing the actual topic.

thank you sean...
and thank all who helped me...