protecting animals from extinction
It is true that many animals are facing extinction in the wild, the number of them do not stop at here and always increases dramatically each day. There are lots of reasons why wild animals disappear and confront with the extinction in the near future.
Firstly, if we destroy a large of natural forest to build up such as amusement parks, Villa, resort,... to exchange of developing economic, all animals have lived there will not nature place where life, birth and growing. Almost of the food, water resources, place will be completed vanish, they can not extend one's life because of so hungry, thirsty,... Besides, with the fast population growth, environment pollution and change climate contribute to mediate cause for will animals have been decreased because they don't stand under pressure about quickly change of natural.
Nevertheless, all people must raise the knowledge which minimizes extinct wild animals by mean of taking part in club, campaign,... talk about protection them and environment. Besides, the government oblige to artice of law, policy in order to prevent people from hunting, defend,... a way of illegal. In addition, we should appeal to nongovernmental organization for investing zoo, nature reserve,... This place can be safer and few of dangerous for growing up of them.
In conclusion, wild animals are a necessary part of natural existence, and I believe that protect them more important to raise variety species in the
Earth.Hi, there. I would like to give you some feedback about your writing.๐
1. Use *so on* instead of *....*, it will make your writing become formal.
2.introduction should be mentioned about not only the reasons why caused animal extinct and but also the ways to protect them.
3.some of the descriptions are so redundant, (ex:Firstly, if.......and growing) try to make it simple.๐
4. Your conclusion should restate the causes of the problem and remind the reader of possible solutions.
Hope it would help !๐๐
Hi, I'd like to give you my opinions about your essay.
First thing, I see you break your body into 2 paragraphs; the first one is about reasons; the second one is about measures. However, each paragraph's ideas are not very well-organized.
Second, you should try to express your ideas with simple grammar structures since you have made quite many grammar mistakes. Also, be careful with verb tense. For example:
"If we destroyed a vast area of natural forests in exchange for a growing economy, all animals would be extinct due to the loss of natural habitats."
"Besides, governments should impose strict laws in order to prevent illegal actions cause harm to the forests."
