Topic:My father.It's a preparation of speaking section for toefl.

My father is who I admired most and also my role model.He is a no-nonsense man.He rarely talks with others jokingly,even who is his daughter.He is an excellent leader in his company and a strict father for me. He always requires me to do every thing wholeheartedly and never allows me giving up until to the last.Stern as he is,father is full of affection to me.Not only does he encourage me to insist my dream but also let me learn to enjoy the process of striving for it.I benefit from the communication with my father very much.With his worthy advices I could increase myself gradually.

This is a good idea for an essay. However there are a few glitches - i will rearrange it

I think the first sentence would be nicer if you say "The individual I admire most is my father - my role model"

He rarely talks with others jokingly,even who is his daughter not even me - his own daughter, (join this sentence with the other) but he is an excellent leader in the community.

He is very strict, always encouraging me to do everything wholeheartedly and to never give up
Not only does he encourage me to insist pursue my dream but also let me learn he teaches me to enjoy the process of striving for towards it.

Stern as he is,father is full of affection to me my father is very affectionate towards me [here i would add another sentence which shows how he is affectionate]

I benefit from the communication with my father very much.With his worthy advices I could increase myself gradually. I benefit greatly from my father's advice and examples. They serve as great motivation for me to build strong character.

Remember to put a space after each period !

Hope this helps