The passion for teaching decreased
It is true that teaching was considered an extremely well-respected and gained its popularity in the previous generation. Nevertheless, recently, the number of people nurturing their passion for this kind of job has dropped sharply in some parts of the world. In my country, the problem is becoming worse and worse, and it is important to take steps to make teaching more attractive. In this essay, I will look at the main causes of the problem and propose some solutions.
One of the first culprit contributing to in terms of the shortage of teachers is lower remuneration.it can be seen that a significant difference in the salaries paid to teachers and other qualified workers, which are notably higher. For instance, the monthly salary of an elementary school teacher is about 4 million VND. This figure is only half that of other professions. Consequently, the prospect of low income discourages students from pursuing a career in teaching. The solution is for the government to raise the teacher's pay significantly. This could lead to a dramatic rise in the number of graduates willing to devote their lives to teaching.
The next cause is the amount of workload; both on and off school hours. This job does not allow a teacher to rest and recover from stress, which is hazardous to both the psychological and physical well-being of the teacher. For example: In addition to teaching in the classroom, teachers must also prepare the next lesson or give mark for students...Therefore, to mitigate this issue, it is vital for the government to curb the burden of duties on teachers, by appointing more teaching assistants who will reduce their workload and setting the maximum number of working hours per week. This will lead to a better work-life balance.
Last but not least
is the bad behaviour of present-day students. According to a recent survey, current pupils tend to disobey teachers or even behave rudely toward them. As a result, potential teachers are greatly discouraged from choosing this profession as their future job. Dealing with this issue involves parents teaching their offspring that they need to have respect for adults. Besides, the school should strictly handle students who are rude towards teachers.
To sum up, in my view, the shortage of teachers in secondary schools is a serious problem. Governments must take steps to deal with the problem as soon as possible. Otherwise, we risk a serious lack of teachers in the future.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,552 3449
Wow! You only have 40 minutes to write this topic. There is no way you can write over 400 words within 40 minutes. The most you can write is 275-290 words. I believe you did not use a timer when you wrote this essay. You just kept on writing because you heard that writing more will result in a higher score. Nope. Writing just a moderate length paper, focused on quality instead of word count, is what scores best in these tests.
Your prompt paraphrase is inaccurate. The original prompt is:
These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?
The paraphrase is:
There are less educators on a global than previously counted. The biggest reduction in faculty member count can be seen in high schools. There are two reasons that I believe contributes to this problem. I hope to be able to shed light on this problem and offer solutions through this writing.
Now. the problem with this essay is the length. Your reasoning is good, but over discussed. Try to keep your essay paragraphs limited to 5 sentences at the most, but no less than 3 sentences. Learn to say more using less words. That is what cohesiveness and coherence is all about. The more direct your response, the less grammar mistakes you will make. The more you write, the bigger your chance of creating grammatical errors. By the way, ellipses (...) are not used in formal academic writing so don't start to practice using that punctuation mark in these practice tests. These are formal academic writing tasks.
First of all, I think you have a wide range of vocabulary that may impress the examiner. However, your essay exceeded the prescribed words so yes, you will lose points.
Try to stick to the topic and condense it into a conciser one