Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

task 1 : The topic was given in the picture (car ownership in the UK)


Iloveielts 8 / 16 1  
Jul 24, 2022   #1

car ownership in the UK 1975-2005



line graph illustrates the proportion of car ownership in the UK over a period of 30 years from 1975 to 2005. Overall, the initial impression is that the percentage of people possessing 2 and 3 cars showed an upward trend. It can also be seen that having one car was the most common situation during the period given.

In 1975 people having one car accounted for 45% of the car ownership. This was followed by that of no-car owners at around 43%. In the next 10 years, both the categories witnessed a roughly similar trend. While the figure of 1 car experienced a substantial decline to its all-low time of 37%, there was fewer citizens without cars, with its figure dropping to 25%. Toward the end of the period, the proportion of 1-car owners experienced a considerable rebound to its same figure in 1975. Those not using a car, in a meantime, bucked the trend with 3% decrease.

Having 2 and 3 cars made up 7% and 3% respectively at the beginning of the period. Over the following 30 years, the same pattern was evident in those having 2 and 3 cars, with the latter hitting its peak of 17%, the latter peaking at roughly 9%.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4247  
Jul 25, 2022   #2
Watch out for the capitalization rule in the presentation. Never neglect to capitalize the first word of every sentence, specially when it relates to the topic sentence of the paragraph. Avoid implying any visual reference to the image because the reader is assumed to not have a copy of the image and therefore, will need to imagine the references being analyzed and described in the report.

While the figure of 1 car

One car ownership. Always indicate what the reference point is. Just saying "1 car" has no meaning to the reader.

Balance the paragraph presentations. Aim to always present 3-5 sentences for a thorough and balanced analysis discussion presentation. When one paragraph has only 2 sentences, it comes across as not being fully considered for the presentation.

The writer has a problem with his sentence development in the presentations. He is using colloquial English without knowing how to properly structure the presentation, making it awkward and confusing for the native English speaking reader.
huyjunnie 4 / 10 4  
Jul 31, 2022   #3
Honestly, after looking through the essay, I have some certain feedback about this essay.
- Firstly, you need to focus on capitalization rules, so you have to use upper-case on the first letter when starting a new paragraph. It's important!

- You should condense your general trend in just one sentence, and you can describe the graph more particularly in the next paragraph.
- There are some unclear points in your essay.
"In the next 10 years, both the categories witnessed ..." → What categories? It is confusing.
- "The figure of one car" → The graph talks about car ownership, and it is not correct at all.
- Adverbs about contrast, comparison, similarity,... are recommended to emphasize the changes.
- Grammar structures seem to be fine, but you should use complex sentences to specify alterations.


Home / Writing Feedback / task 1 : The topic was given in the picture (car ownership in the UK)