IELTS WRITING TASK 2 (topic : international aids to poor countries)

TOPIC : Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ESSAY :
Although usually received money as aid from developed countries, underdeveloped nations can hardly help the impoverished to have a better life, which raises the need for substitute forms of foreign support. Personally, I totally concur with this statement owing to the potential flawed policies of distributing this financial source and corrupt politicians of poor countries.

The reason that the recipient countries of such money remain poor can be accounted for their defective plans of allocating these amounts. Indeed, a considerable number of poor countries' leaders do not opt for directly providing the aid to the needy people but instead, they invest it in other less urgent purposes such as infrastructure and military. However, these priorities require a massive state budget whose amount probably is many times as large as the sum of received financial aids. In this case, the government has to tendency to impose a higher tax on their citizens to compensate for the remaining costs, thus worsening their state of poverty.

The financial aids to underdeveloped countries cannot ease the poverty due to the corruption of governmental machinery. The likelihood is that the political hierarchy in poor nations can do whatever is beneficial for them, including misappropriating these money amounts since they can easily evade the law with their power. This only makes the rich become richer and the poor, in contrast, become poorer, which is contrary to the original purpose of this kind of financial help. Nevertheless, with different ways to conduct this support, namely assigning specialists, such cases of crime can be significantly minimised.

In conclusion, it is true that the financial aid of rich nations to underdeveloped countries are of no use in tackling poverty, leading to the requirement of other kinds of help. I totally agree with this need because of the ineffective policies in utilising this money and common corruption amongst politicians of the recipients.

The essay comes in strong with a highly creative restatement and a very strong writer's opinion. The support of the thesis information also added to the increased scoring awards for this paragraph. The essay will start off with a preliminary passing score which will be good for your test, even as deductions might be applied to other sections later on.


No need for the apostrophe in this case. Countries is the plural form of country. Please familiarize yourself with apostrophe usage rules as it is not always necessary to use it to indicate the plural form of a word.


This third reason was not necessary in this paragraph. The first 2 discussions were properly cohesive since the 2 points presented were truly connected and discussed. The third reason lacks in both connectivity to the first 2 points and a better developed discussion consideration.


The higher taxes discussion could have fit better into this paragraph discussion as it relates to the government corruption of the poor nations.

@Holt
I wrote the essay with 2 reasons in 2 different paragraphs. I don't really understand your comment about the thrid reason. I would appreciate it if you could explain it for me more clearly.