Topic: Some people believe that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era

Task 2 IELTS: "Some people believe that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writings are stored electrically. Others think that printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

IS THE EXISTENCE OF PRINTED BOOKS STILL NECESSARY?

These days human are gradually replacing their works by innovative technology, including the way how books are kept and stored. Some people argued that it is redundant to store data in old-styled paper books which can be substituted by electrical books or e-books for additional benefits, whereas some opposing views against this notion. Both perspectives contain valid arguments which will be elaborated in this essay.

On the one hand, people with the former idea believe that transferring knowledge and data from printed books to digital books can economically save substantial cost in book materials and printing. As a matter of fact, universities all around the world have to spend millions of dollars each year just only serving for printing study materials. This cost, obviously, can be deducted effectively by using electrical books in which the extra money can be used for other educational purposes. Another reason for this perspective is that paper books are arduous to store and update which may be influenced enormously by temperature and humidity conditions. Additionally, it is inevitable to say that human resources and logistics could also be another factors which have a huge impact on book depot whereas electrical books would not be affected by those factors.

On the other hand, opposing views claim that printed books still have an integral part of life because accessing to digital data is still limited as electrical devices are always essential for this type of book. In addition, it cannot be denied that the usage of electrical books may lead to tension and stress to people from old generation who have insufficient knowledge in this field. Moreover, digital books may be not favorable options when almost all people still prefer traditional books for their convenience in some cases.

In conclusion, both points of views contain valid arguments. To my mind, I strongly support the idea in which traditional paper books should be replaced by electrical books due to their advantages in cost and storage.

1. please use punctuations to separate sentence, so the reader can easily understand what you are trying to say.

2. avoid repetition of electrical/ly you can use synonyms like electronic, digital or cyber

Phuong, your grammar is correct in most instances and punctuation marks are properly used throughout the essay. There are 2 problems with the essay as you have it presented at the moment:

1. Your opening paraphrase does not include a reference to discussing your personal opinion in the essay as indicated in the original prompt requirements.

2. You do not have a personal opinion indicated in any body of paragraphs.

The missing paragraph in reference to your personal opinion means that this essay will not be able to score higher than a 5 because you referenced answers to 2 of the 3 parts of the task. Owing to some lack of proper development on your paragraph discussions, your remaining scoring considerations will also score low on the consideration scale which means you cannot score higher than a 5 for this task.

In the conclusion, you referenced a personal opinion that indicates; "I strongly support". A personal opinion is never merged in the concluding paragraph as that is meant to only be a summary of the given discussion. The personal opinion is always the 4th paragraph in a comparison essay of this type.

The lack of overall progression and clarity in your discussion comes from your over-discussing the reasons in any given paragraph. Focus on only 1 topic per paragraph, even if that explanation is only 3 sentences long. That is all that is minimally required for your task to get a higher scoring consideration. Adding another topic that is composed of one run on sentence will serve to lower your C&C and GRA scores instead as this affects the consideration for your sentence structure and your grammar presentation.

You did a halfway good job on this essay. Your discussions were clear for the most part but under developed when you presented the second idea. So limiting yourself to one idea per paragraph would be your best bet in increasing your score. Forget about presenting too much information because the score is based on the clarity of information and use of the English language in relation to that rather than the amount of information presented.