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Writing IELTS TASK 2 - Topic: Tourism - influence for visited places.

Datnguyen 2 / 6 2  
Mar 23, 2017   #1
Topic: Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Tourism Growth

Nowadays, the growth of tourism and the numbers of people traveling to other countries for their holidays have led to discuss about it has many negative effects on the places. In my view, I think that the tourism have also benefits for economies and yourself.

First of all, for individual, it helps in spreading of culture. We can learn more knowledge such as: life styles, foods, experience and so on. For instance, when you go to Thailand you can discover culinary which existing and interesting, you understand what they do in everyday or traditional vacations. Moreover, you will be attractive by customs of people in this place. Secondly, the traveling with my friends make us become closer and has great time together. Specially, you have never forgotten with memories of talking photos. In contrast, It has some harmful that not only environment but also personality impacts. You waste a lot money and time preparing for journey. The addition, the solid wasting and littering influence environment pollution issue, cause the death of marine animals. All of them lead us to question "What can tourist do to increase the disadvantage effects of tourism?" You should make detail plans before you start as soft skills for communication and survival, knowledge about international law to prepare for emergency causes and the most important is journey energy of you. The next, the investor should build green resorts, environment friendly, more trash bin, encourage tourist protection and harmony with nature. The tourist should use green transportation to reduce air pollution and the noise.

In summary, tourism brings benefit for people, but it still negative impacts so the governments and individuals need good ways to solve and increase effects. People have to responsible about environment for places where they want to travel.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,277 3982  
Mar 23, 2017   #2
Dat due to the fact that you were being asked to discuss the negative effects of tourism throughout the essay and you chose to discuss the positive effects of tourism, with barely a reference to the negative effects, you proved that you cannot score more than a 3 on this essay. There is a clear lack of understanding on your part when it came to the discussion requirements provided by the prompt.

Your essay discussed the positive effects of tourism throughout most of the essay, which was the exact opposite of the prompt instructions. You were expected to focus on the negative effects discussion. Therefore, even though you wrote almost 300 words, the length of the essay did not help you because you failed to properly paraphrase, outline, and discuss the subject you were provided.

The grammar development and presentation of the essay is also a problem since your opening statement did not provide the minimum sentence count, the second paragraph should have been divided into two paragraphs since two topics were being discussed in one paragraph, and your concluding statement did not properly represent the concluding requirements either. More importantly, when you tried to discuss the proper prompt requirement in the essay you accidentally said:

"What can tourist do to increase the disadvantage effects of tourism?"

When the correct question would have been:

"What can tourist do to decrease the disadvantageous effects of tourism?"

It does not make sense for one to wish to increase the disadvantages of tourism. Specially when the prompt focus is on how to reduce the harmful effects of tourism.
OP Datnguyen 2 / 6 2  
Mar 24, 2017   #3
Thank you very much for your comment. I will try next time to do better.
AndreiWindy 3 / 7  
Mar 26, 2017   #4
In my opinion, wrap up of your essay, I think it's easy to understand your ideas. You also used many academic words but you should check carefully before posting your essay. I can see some faults.
yuukinohan4 9 / 24 6  
Mar 26, 2017   #5
Hi @Datnguyen
Firstly, i want to suggest you to paraphrase all the prompt because it is important to lead your essay in idea that you want to deliver. In your introduction, you should introduce briefly about the way tourists should do to reduce harmful effects, so that readers will know the illustration of your essay bodies. Turning to your body paragraph, the question asks you two things, better if you divide your ideas or explanation into two paragraph based on the questions. Body one: explain about "how true is this statement?" then the explanation of the others in body two.

"What can tourist do to increase the disadvantage effects of tourism?"

but it still negative impacts so the governments and individuals need good ways to solve and increase effects.

increase vs decrease, you may write a wrong word that confuse readers. It should be "decrease" not "increase".

You deliver idea about the way tourists can do to prevent harmful in environment less deep. You need to pick one idea from many ideas to elucidate deeply, so that readers are able to understand fully your offered solution.

hope it helps you
OP Datnguyen 2 / 6 2  
Mar 27, 2017   #6
Thank for your comment, it is very precious with me. I will try to improve in next essay.

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