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IELTS topic. Violence shown on TV and in the cinema


y0_3mma 19 / 28 6  
Apr 21, 2012   #1
A lot of people believe the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?


A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of whether young people's actions are influenced by the amount of violence which appears on TV and in the cinema or not. From my own prospective, I believe that violence in our today society has increased due to TVs and cinema. 51

It cannot be argued that young people immitate what they see on TVs. Eversince every home has at least one LCD, plasma or a normal TV, youngsters' behaviour has radically changed: they find themselves in what they see on screen, they have models and follow them. Even if it is not a scientific proven fact, it is obvious that aggressive scenes and plots which appear in movies and talkshows encourage them to adopt a violent behaviour. Doing what they see on TV retains an image of satisfaction among young people, making aggression an habit for those still in the process of moulding themselves into what they want to be. 109

One way to combat the problem of violence in our society today would be for the government to censor the movies and TV shows. Even if they are not allowed to watch horror and thriller movies, teenagers under 18 still get the change to do it. By introducing censorship and cutting the violence scenes, I believe young people would not be encouraged to behave violently and disruptively. It would, therefore, be impossible for them to follow this example of being aggressive. 81

To sum up, from what has been written above, I can safely draw the conclusion that the amount of violence seen on TV and in cinema increases the fights, clashes and disruptive behaviour in our society. However, this issue can be tackled by inforcing laws in order to censor every scene which can have a bad impact on people's behaviour. 59

hey, check my essay and give me some advice. later I saw that I could suggest any solution to reduce violence, but censoring the movies is a good idea, too.

xyx0905 16 / 49  
Apr 21, 2012   #2
Hi

A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of whether young people's actions are influenced by the amount of violence which appears on TV and in the cinema or not.

In recent years, the discussion about whether a series of violent contents from TV programs and movies influence the juvenile's conduct has become a controversial issue.

I believe that violence in our today society has increased due to TVs and cinema.

"due to TVs and cinema" TVs and Cinema themselves cannot lead to a course of action. Therefore, this sentence should be altered, "I believe that violence in our today's society had increased due to the popularity of multimedia.

"today society" => today's society, here today is adjective, not adverb

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

This is a "mix" IELTS topic, in your first main paragraph you have to present your position whether you agree or disagree. Here you have to provide 2 ideas to support if you agree and 1 idea for counter argument or vice versa.

Your writing doesn't support why you think violence movies and TV series influence the younger generation's conducts, your writing was talking about they have lots of chances to view TV program because ever since every household has TV. Here the ideas which could support why you think violent movies are bad for children is those movies lead to juvenile misconduct, the reason is they are mentally immature and incapable of distinguishing what are the right and wrong things from TV.

One way to combat the problem of violence in our society today would be for the government to censor the movies and TV shows. Even if they are not allowed to watch horror and thriller movies, teenagers under 18 still get the change to do it. By introducing censorship and cutting the violence scenes, I believe young people would not be encouraged to behave violently and disruptively. It would, therefore, be impossible for them to follow this example of being aggressive.

At least two recommendations in your solution paragraph.

1. introduce the regulation to assess all types of TV program and movies in order to avoid unexpected damages to the young's mental development

2. parents supervision

Cheers


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