A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of whether young people's actions are influenced by the amount of violence which appears on TV and in the cinema or not.
In recent years, the discussion about whether a series of violent contents from TV programs and movies influence the juvenile's conduct has become a controversial issue.
I believe that violence in our today society has increased due to TVs and cinema.
"due to TVs and cinema" TVs and Cinema themselves cannot lead to a course of action. Therefore, this sentence should be altered, "I believe that violence in our today's society had increased due to the popularity of multimedia.
"today society" => today's society, here today is adjective, not adverb
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?
This is a "mix" IELTS topic, in your first main paragraph you have to present your position whether you agree or disagree. Here you have to provide 2 ideas to support if you agree and 1 idea for counter argument or vice versa.
Your writing doesn't support why you think violence movies and TV series influence the younger generation's conducts, your writing was talking about they have lots of chances to view TV program because ever since every household has TV. Here the ideas which could support why you think violent movies are bad for children is those movies lead to juvenile misconduct, the reason is they are mentally immature and incapable of distinguishing what are the right and wrong things from TV.
One way to combat the problem of violence in our society today would be for the government to censor the movies and TV shows. Even if they are not allowed to watch horror and thriller movies, teenagers under 18 still get the change to do it. By introducing censorship and cutting the violence scenes, I believe young people would not be encouraged to behave violently and disruptively. It would, therefore, be impossible for them to follow this example of being aggressive.
At least two recommendations in your solution paragraph.
1. introduce the regulation to assess all types of TV program and movies in order to avoid unexpected damages to the young's mental development
2. parents supervision