Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay about the topic work

Huu Nghia 1 / -  
Nov 7, 2019   #1
The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life.
Discuss the possible causes and suggest ways to prepare people to work in the future

labor market volatility

Working environment and the workers are changing constantly and evolving to meet the demands of modern society. This essay will discuss possible reasons for these changes and ways that people can better prepare for their future career.

There are two main reasons that lead to this phenomenon. Firstly, the internet offer workers many job opportunities. Consequently, people are not financially depend on their company and having the chance to improve their living conditions. Secondly, there is an increase in the usage of modern technology in companies' daily work. Those workers, who find it difficult to learn and incorporate technology into their work, will be left behind. For example, factories have been applying modern AI technology into their process which will replace traditional workers.

However, there are a number of ways that people can prepare for their future occupation. Firstly, students in high schools should be well-prepared in order to have a clear vision in life. They will less likely to get lost and change jobs constantly. To illustrate, autonomous vehicles are predicted to replace most delivery and taxi driver jobs in the very near future, so this is not a job that someone should expect to have for a very long time. Thus, people will need to be able to keep up to date with these changes.

In conclusion, although there are many changes in the workplace these days, educating people to carefully choose their career and to keep up to date with modern technology, is the key to avoiding any major problems.

Please give me the correction for my writing. How i could be more natural at writing task 2 ?

snowflake817 3 / 6  
Nov 8, 2019   #2
@Huu Nghia
Hi! Hope to help with some grammatical mistakes.

- ... of the modern society
-... better to prepare
- the internet offers workers
- people do not depend on the company financially and have a chance to...
- They will be less likely ...
- ... , is the key to
roswita116 16 / 37 17  
Nov 24, 2019   #3
@Huu Nghia
Hi, there. I would like to give you some feedbacks about your writing.🤗🤗

* Taking a closer look at your paragraph 2. The idea you mentioned about so many jobs opportunities posted on internet so it causes people don't have chance to improve their living standards?? From my perspective, I completely don't understand what is the relevant between them. As a reader, I would say that this point of view is lack of detail explanations, unclear, irrelevant and illogical.

*In your paragraph 3, you were talking about there are "a number of ways" to solve this problem. However, you just mentioned about "one" way in your paragraph 3.

* in your writing, some ideas are too general and not developed properly.

Your writing task 2 structures meet the requirements. However, I would like to suggest you that spending some time on specific your ideas if you want to get a higher band score on your IELTS writing.

Hope my feedbacks may help your future writing.🤗🤗

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 Essay about the topic work