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IELTS task 2 topic:Why are young people leaving their homes from rural areas to study or


dy0693 1 / 1  
Jan 3, 2014   #1
topic:Why are young people leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

essay:
Recent decades have witness an obvious trend that young people leave their home from rural areas to the cities for the purpose of studying and working. In my opinion, it is the abundance resources and opportunities in the cities that attract young people. The positive influences of this development outweigh the negative ones.

The reason why young people move from their home in rural areas to cities is that obviously, there are more resources and opportunities available for them in cities than in their home. It is widely acknowledged that various schools, organizations as well as companies gather in cities, which is the guarantee of enrichment of social resources and opportunities. From student's perspective, they not only obtain knowledge from textbooks but also diversify their experiences by directly approaching those resources. Similarly, workers would find a large number of employment opportunities because of the presence of a vast number of employers in cities.

Obviously, both individual and society are benefit from this development. For individuals, the fact that by studying and working in cities, student and workers not only equip themselves with abundant knowledge and advanced technologies but also broaden their horizons lead individuals to be competent enough to maintain their daily life by their own efforts. For societies, the increasing of available talent pool is conducive to the development of technology and economy.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that such phenomenon exerts an unfavourable impact on the development of rural areas because of the loss of talents and labours. Consequently, under this circumstance, a serious unbalanced development between rural areas and cities will ensue. However, this can be avoided if certain policies can be made to prompt the return of talents after they accomplish a certain period of studying and working in the cities. As a result, the returnees together with the advanced technologies and external funds that brought by them will play an important role in the development of rural areas and help the rural areas keep the pace with cities.

To conclude, abundant resources and opportunities in cities are the main causes for young people to move from their home in rural areas to cities. As discussed above, I am convinced that the advantages of this development outbalance the disadvantages.

nmtuan3497 2 / 3  
Jan 4, 2014   #2
I think your essay is amazing and I hope you will get band 8 or more in the real exam. Fighting !
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 4, 2014   #3
Recent decades have witnessed an obvious trend that young people leave their homesfromin the rural areas and migrate to the cities for the purpose of finding opportunities for studying and working.

In my opinion, it is the abundance resources and opportunities in the cities that attract young people. The positive influences of this development outweigh the negative ones.

.... I like if you introduce a slight change here;
It is the availability of abundance resources and opportunities in the cities that attract these young people. In my opinion, the positive influences of this development outweigh the negatives.

You write very well.... Hope you were able to manage time too. If not, restrict the number of body paras to two.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 4, 2014   #4
Obviously, both individual and society are benefited from this development.

You write very well.... Hope you were able to manage time too. If not, restrict the number of body paras to two.

Yes, I too agree ...
raj_ielts 3 / 11 2  
Jan 4, 2014   #5
Nice essay...:). As Pahan mentioned, I think it would be good if you limit it to two body paragraphs.

Dumi/Pahan,
Is it the same structure for discussion kind of essays too...or is there a different format for them.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 5, 2014   #6
Dumi/Pahan,
Is it the same structure for discussion kind of essays too...or is there a different format for them.

Well... it is generally stay the same - Intro, 2 Body paras and Conclusion.
However, you need to present it to suite what the prompt suggests. Do one such essay and post it here. We will try to do it together :D

@dy0693 - I think you have very good writing skills. It is just that you need to align your writing more with the task specific requirements. I like if your examples (the ones that you use to support your reasoning) be more specific.
OP dy0693 1 / 1  
Jan 10, 2014   #7
Thanks a lot to you all! For some reason I can't reply to my own post recently, finially it works now. My aim is 7 for writing section. As Panhan and dumi said, I will try to limit the body paragraph to two.


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