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WRITING TASK 1 : the total amount of gold sold in each month throughout the year of 2002 in Dubai


vieanh 1 / -  
Jul 2, 2019   #1
Thanks for giving me feedback.

DUBAI GOLD SALES 2002



The line graph presents the total amount of gold sold in each month throughout the year of 2002 in Dubai. Units are measures in millions of Dirhams.

The most apparent pattern to be seen from the graph is that with the exception of the first 3 months in which the number of gold sales increased, it went through a significant fall and a slight fluctuation during the year before ended at the same level which it started at.

The gold sales stood at 200 millions of Dirhams in January and then rose to a high o approximately 350 in March. From this point of time, there was a dramatic drop in the amount of gold sold over the following 4 months to minimally above 100 millions in July. The period of time between July and October witnessed a small fluctuation in the gold sales, which virtually evened out in the last quarter of the year and finished at its beginning level at 200 millions of Dirhams.




mphuonggg 2 / 4 1  
Jul 3, 2019   #2
I think your essay is pretty good.
However, you have a grammatical mistake : "are measured " not " are measures"
I suggest many synonyms of " present" : demonstrate, "illustrate" . It can help your writing become more academic.
Thank you for reading my feedback , hope this will help you !


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