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Total percentage of teachers enlisting in Ontario City (2001 - 2007) who teach English and French


ADIE08 29 / 32 1  
Feb 23, 2016   #1
The line graph reveals about the total percentage of the teacher enlisting in Ontario City from 2001 to 2007 which divided two subjects. It is apparent from that information that, English-language teachers decreased significantly while French language teachers despite had experienced decreased but over the period the level increased slightly.

Looking detail on the data showed started in 2001 stood at over 70% accepted as teachers in English subject in which it was the highest rate in the same year. However, two years later total percentages decreased dramatically in which it was losing over 20%. Whereas from 2003 to 2005, total percentages of English teacher accepted in the Ontario City increased slightly around 2 percent than previously but following this, the trend rate sharply falls until a finish under 30% in 2007 .

Turning to total percentages of French language teachers, in 2001 stood 70% was accepted in the Ontario City, however, it dropped to near 50% in the next year. Moreover, the rate was showed increased rapidly more than 20% in 2003. Over the next years to finish in 2007, the percentage rise rapidly in which despite had experienced drop slightly below 70% in 2007 but it peak at over 72% in the last period.




justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Feb 23, 2016   #2
- about the total percentage
- from that information that ,
- despite the had experienced, ( don't forget your punctuation marks )
- decreased but over the period, the level increased slightly.

- Looking into the detail on, the
- data showed started

- Turning to total percentages of
- to nearly 50% in the next year.
- Moreover, the rate washas showed
- an increased rapidly
- Over the next years to finish in 2007,
- the percentage rise rapidly in which despite hadand the
- experienced dropped slightly below
- 70% in 2007 but it peaked at over 72% in the last period.

Adie, in this analysis, you were able to grasp the idea of the graph, however, the
description of what you think is the interpretation of your analysis is not shown
in your essay. I believe what you can do in cases or paper work like this is,
keep your analysis focused on your subject, make sure that it is represented properly and
the facts are accurate.

I hope this helps.
mita23 34 / 37 3  
Feb 26, 2016   #3
hy Adie. let me give you some suggestions which may help you to improve your writing.

1. you need to concern on grammatical accuracy.
a. ... percentage of the teacher enlisting in Ontario City from 2001 to 2007 which is divided in two subjects. or
The line graph reveals about the total percentage of the teacher enlisting in Ontario City from 2001 to 2007 which divided in two subjects.

b. It is apparent from that information that,Overall, it can clearly be seen that English-language teachers (...) language teachers despite had experienced decreased but over the period the level increased slightly.

c. Looking at the detail, on the data showed started in 2001, stood at over 70% people were accepted as teachers in ...
... percentages decreased dramatically in which it was losinglost over 20%.

d. ... in the Ontario City increased slightly 2 percent higher than previouslyprevious year but following this, the trend rate sharply fallsfelluntil a finish under 30% in 2007 .

thank you


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