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I totally disagree that banning air travel is the only strategy to stop air pollution.


misskitty22 2 / 2  
Oct 31, 2016   #1
Air travel is the latest transportation that is available to go anywhere in this world with the shortest time to spent. I totally disagree that banning air travel is the only strategy to stop air pollution.

The development of air travel is the highest number comparing to the other type of travel. Many people use air travel more often than before which can create a huge amount of emission and lead to air pollution. The air travel also has a big influence in making unbalance habitat for some animals especially birds.

However, air travel is one leading type of transportation that can give many advantages for human. Firstly, air travel can save a lot of time for people to move from some part of the world to the other side of the world in short of time. With this advantage, many activities can be done easily and faster. Secondly, with the use of air travel, the aid distributions for some people in conflict or disaster area become more efficient and quick. Thirdly, air travel can make a huge impact for some people in a remote area to go out from their region. The last, restricting air travel in order to prevent pollution is not a good method because the contribution of other transportations such as car and motorcycle also gives a lot of emission to the atmosphere.

To sum up, I believed that restricting air travel is not the best solution in preventing air pollution. There are many advantages from the use of air travel rather than the drawbacks. Many ways in reducing air pollution such as minimize the use of private transportation and planting more trees are the greatest solutions rather than restricting air travel.

amrillahmk 29 / 47 6  
Oct 31, 2016   #2
... that is available for everyone to go anywhere in (...) shortest time to spentspend.

... comparing to the other types of travels.

... move from some parts of the world to ...
... conflict or disaster areas become more efficient and quicker.
... a huge impact foron some people in ...
... contribution of other transportations such as ...

To sum up, I believed that restricting air ...
sasariri 17 / 25  
Oct 31, 2016   #3
Hi misskitty22..

... shortest time to spend .

(in your second paragraph or body 1, if you want to use one idea paragraph you have to make a clear pattern such as main idea, explanation, example and result

( In body 2, you have to add more explaination to your main idea)

To sum up, I believed that restricting air ...

Good Job..
ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Oct 31, 2016   #4
Aloha, here are my thoughts for you;

(1)I think your introduction is jumping idea because I cannot find the correlation between the first sentence and the second one. Therefore, you'd better change or add connector to make it clear. Here is my sample introduction;Air travel is the latest transportation that is the most popular nowadays. Although some people argue that air travel should be banned to tackle air pollution effect, I tend to disagree with this idea.

(2) in paragraph two, you'd better explain why you disagree with the former idea. Then, give the strong reason, appropriate example, and conclusion of this idea. I believe in you, your essay will be better than before.

(3) your conclusion is too general and unreadable. Conclusion should explain clearly something in the body paragraph. Thus, if readers read your conclusion, they will be understand all of your essay even without reading it.
alfa7 19 / 26 1  
Oct 31, 2016   #5
Hi Misskitty, interesting name anyway, I want you obtain some suggestions from me

here we go

... comparing to the other types of travelling .
... making unbalance habitat for some animals especially birds.

However, air travel is one of leading types of transportation that ...
... lot of time for people to movemoving from some part (...) the other side of the world in short of time.
... make a huge of impact for some people in athe remote area ...

Many ways infor reducing air pollution such ...

note: keep writing and go ahead
badafebriani17 34 / 44 1  
Oct 31, 2016   #6
Hello misskitty22. i want to give some suggestions.
actually, your essay is pretty good. you used a good idea. but i think your essay has to build with more explanation in your body of paragraph.

... contribution of other transportations such as car and ...
put comma before conjunction " such as"

... disaster area become more efficient and quicker
the comparison. if the word that read by one syllable you can add -er in the end or word---> quicker

good luck. i hope it will be useful
OP misskitty22 2 / 2  
Nov 1, 2016   #7
Thanks for all the corrections and suggestions from you all guys,
I really appreciate the comments.
I will try to improve my first paragraph into:
Air travel is the latest transportation that is available for everyone to go anywhere in this world with the shortest time to spend. Although some people think that aero travel should be banned to reduced air pollution, I tend to disagree with the idea.


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