Tourism has become one of the fastest growing industry
This is practically a complete cut and paste of the original prompt. She section is evidence that you can only write in memorized or copied phrases. This will contribute to a failing TA score.
No time reference is made in the original prompt. This misinforms the reader and changes the original information. Do not include unsupported information.
Improper word use. Damage indicates ongoing action. Happening or continuing to happen in present time. Damaged means the action has ended. It is in the past.LR and GRA reductions apply.
I agree with this statement
To what extent ? Deliver the response based on the prompt format. Failure to do so will add to your TA reduction based on improper response format.
Incomplete thesis statement. Summarize the 2 supporting reasons as the end sentence/s for this paragraph to increase your C + C baseline score.
Relate this to and use the word travel in reference to it for sentence clarity.
Improper word usage. Trash is both the singular and plural form of the word. GRA deductions apply.
Correct word is "belief" which means ; an opinion or conviction. LR issue.
Should be using the plural form for both words ( societies identities) as every nation has several local cultures/ identities to refer to. LR and GRA related errors.
Good but incomplete summary. you need to repeat your extent opinion here as the closing sentence.