Tourism explosion becomes an accumulated threat for the unique and worthy of visiting places

Ielts writing task 2 toursim

Some people say that tourism há many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.
How true is thí statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?

Tourism explosion comes the accumulated threat of endangering the distinctive places that makes a destination unique and worthy of visiting. In my opinion, inadequately managed tourism can damage a location, and heightening public awareness of the tourism risk is imperative.

The repercussion of mass tourism can be extremely harmful to the local community as well as to the environment. Much of the infrastructure that encourages mass tourism, such as large tourist hotels and tour companies are probably owned and operated by businesses located outside the tourist neighbourhood. Hence, chain restaurants and stores may not always serve local cuisine or sell souvenirs; package tour companies do not always employ regional experts and guides. Thus, money made from this kind of tourism does not stay in the local society. Residents do not obtain anything, and the country habitat suffers from disastrous tourism development projects.

Moreover, poorly managed tourism can destroy a destination, such as the coast, are incredibly vulnerable. Lacking awareness of the local nature and culture also contributes to the vulnerability of the area. In my experience, Halong Bay is one of the most attractive places, as a result of the mass tourism, the marine ecosystem was threatened, a wide range of wild animals are endangered, and the environment is highly polluted for an extended period.

Increasing knowledge of tourists is requisite in order to impede the devastating outcome of the tourism in the natural habitat and local culture. When visitors understand how to spend their money in a manner, it will help maintain the distinctiveness of a place. Furthermore, there are numerous friendly-environmental types of tourism, such as geotourism, sustainable tourism and ecotourism that tourists should pay more attention.

In conclusion, to comprehend what the vulnerabilities of a region before we visit and to help protect that destination as best we can while we are there, is especially necessary. Since the increased development in mass tourism, the danger of the environment and culture is the incontrovertible cost that we endeavour to address it now and in the future.

This is a 4 paragraph, not 5 paragraph essay. You went overboard with the discussion points. There were only 2 vital discussion points for this essay:

Par. 2: The reasoning that you presented using an example.
Par. 3: An additional supporting explanation to help with the coherence and cohesiveness of your essay.

Do not focus on the length of the essay. If you are preparing for the computer based test, then you should be using that time to write a quick essay, with the rest of the time being used to edit and refine the content of your presentation.

Let's go back to the beginning. Your essay did not start in an understandable manner. There is a severe incoherence in the following statement:

Tourism explosion comes the accumulated threat of endangering the distinctive places that makes a destination unique and worthy of visiting.

This could have been better stated. A clearer way of representing the prompt would have been:

International travel is seen as an activity that has adverse effects on the host country. I believe in the truth of this statement because of two considerations. The first is that... That is why it is important that tourists... Allow me to explain further.

The current third paragraph of this essay is really out of place in the discussion. You only needed to represent 2 negative effects in a connected manner, within a single paragraph. Then introduce the solution in the next paragraph. You have to prove that you can fluidly think in English and also represent the smooth thought process in written form. You are not doing that in this essay. Remember, focus on clarity, not on length. You can write 290 words maximum, focus on the clarity of your explanation, and score a 9 with that essay.

Focus on clarity, proper vocabulary use, and proper grammar presentations, including punctuation marks. You have the potential to do well on the test day. You just have to make sure that you properly develop your writing skills.