Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0] - SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Does tourism has greater advantages? No doubt it has direct impact on the socio-economic condition


festivo 2 / 4  
Nov 8, 2016   #1
Some countries have come to rely on tourism as their major source of income. However, many people believe that the problems caused by tourism are more serious than those it has solved. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Tourism, one of the leading industry in most of the countries, has direct impact on the socio-economic condition of the people living in that country. But also, it has negative impact on the cultural, religious and environmental sectors as it tends to change the uniqueness of the countries where they visit.

Tourism industry has great advantage in improving the lifestyle of the local people and hence it improves the quality of life. It also helps in the modernization and because of the tourism, the development of the rural areas, introduction of newer technologies can be possible.

Despite the few advantages, tourism has brought numerous negative repercussions in its religious, cultural and linguistic aspects.Moreover, it has degraded the nature by polluting the nature. For example, in the route of Mt. Everest , once there has been recorded huge collection almost 1 ton of rubbish due to the haphazard spreading fo waste by tourists. A perfect example of cultural and religious deterioration was took place in the southern part of Thailand because of tourists. Similarly in Nepal, we can easily see that the clout of the western culture and religion is slowly spreading over time. The people are unnecessarily quibbling in trivial matters such as religion, language, culture and customs and so on that ultimately disturbing the unity of the people living here. In similar fashion, tourists even can bring violence in the country. Some tourists commute others intending to harm such as spreading some noisome scandals that can hamper the serenity of the country. Even some tourists can involve in criminal activities like girls trafficking, drugs dealing and decimating activities. Once in Nepal, there found 3 tourists who were actively participating in the revolutionary campaign. Therefore, tourism has greater negative effects than its counterparts.

To recapitulate, tourism can be the most important source of income generating activities of one country, but one must analyze its negative aspects. The government officials must be meticulous whether its positive aspects is greater or not.

Holt - / 7,530 2001  
Nov 8, 2016   #2
Utsav, the first problem of your essay lies in the formatting. You have not managed to properly divide your essay into paragraphs that would have made it easier for the reader to follow. This error is specially evident in your third paragraph which is extremely long and contains 2 topics for discussion. Keep in mind that each paragraph should only house one topic at a time. That way it becomes easier for the reader to keep track of the discussion and you gain an opportunity to better discuss your topics. In this case, remember that the enter key is your friend. It can help you better format the paragraphs by creating line breaks in between paragraphs. Believe me, your essay format will become better because of it. Aside from the formatting problem, the essay seems to be highly informative. Regardless of the grammar problems, you manage to convey your opinion using effective examples to illustrate your point. Just one slight point of discussion though. It would seem that you are only discussing one side of the matter instead of discussing the 2 opinions stated in the prompt requirements.You need to balance the discussion by properly representing the prompt instructions. Otherwise, you will lose points in an actual test for non-compliance of the prompt requirements.
lanazaldo 7 / 10  
Nov 8, 2016   #3
hi..
I have some suggestions for you..

... Does toursim has[have] greater advantages?

... has direct impactS on the socio-economic condition of the people living in that [the] country.
(...) of the countries where they [who is 'they' referred to? it is a little bit infuriating] visit.

I hope it helps..
keep writing..
Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Nov 9, 2016   #4
Hi,

I supposed your paragraph 2 tried to talk the advantages of the tourism. It seems too less comparing to the paragraph three which is quite long.

And I think the article doesn't need too many examples while your statement is good enough to let reader understand.

Hope it helps :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Does tourism has greater advantages? No doubt it has direct impact on the socio-economic condition