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Tourism could be very important for the development of many countries


the leaf ninja 9 / 28  
Jul 22, 2011   #1
The costs of international travel are decreasing and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries?

Nowadays more and more people are becoming aware of the decrease in the expenses of travelling and hence tourism is booming. Although many may see this as a positive phenomenon, it is not a trend without drawbacks. Both the pros and cons of the rapidly growing tourism activity will be discussed in this essay.

It is believed that tourism is playing an important part in the economy of different countries and it also helps to open the minds of both visitors as well as domestic people. Firstly, a host country will receive a huge amount of foreign currency in form of the money visitors bring to this country. Actually, many of today societies, especially those of developing countries, have to depend on tourism to develop. Secondly, international travelling is a way to exchange cultures between different countries and bring news to many places. For example, in rural areas and mountainous regions of Cambodia, not so far from now, people used to be self-sufficient and their lives so relied on agriculture. If the rice grows well, they have enough food to eat and to store; but if the rice does not grow well due to bad weather, then the people may starve to death. Thing is not hard as it used to now because the people can have another source of income which comes from tourism. Locals started making souvenirs and sell them to visitors and have money to buy food and other necessary stuff that they can not produce. Also, from the activity the local people do in their everyday life, tourists can learn a lot about their culture which is the greatest benefit from tourism.

However, many people often criticize tourism for its negative impacts on the environment and on the nature of the places. Take my hometown for instance, it used to be well-known for its beautiful and extensive beaches and people like to go swimming in the sea and enjoy seafood at some restaurants near the beaches. However, because many tourists carelessly throw rubbishes like plastic bags into the sea, many jellyfishes and other marine creatures have died and the place is not as clean as it used to be. We have lost our beautiful coastlines and also have less amount of tourist each year. This clearly shows that tourism can cause many bad effects on the environment and on the value of the places.

In conclusion, tourism could be very important for the development of many countries, however, the increasing tourism activities could damage the environment and cause the value or the nature of different places to be vanished.

Please provide me some feedback on my essay (grammar, vocabulary, cohesion and task fullfilment) and as always any help is appreciated. Thanks !
bimala73 4 / 11  
Jul 22, 2011   #2
Hi: I have read your essay. It is brilliant. However I found the link between the example of Cambodia you have cited and the previous lines does not have proper connection. Overall it is a good essay. To make it excellent you can replace with few strong words.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 23, 2011   #3
Both the pros and cons of the rapidly growing tourism activity will be discussed in this essay.

After this sentence, I think you should add a sentence that succinctly expresses the main idea of the essay. Then, end the first paragraph.

There is a rule called NUMBER AGREEMENT: ...the economies of different countries, and...

... and their lives so relied on agriculture.

The plural of rubbish is rubbish. The plural of jellyfish is jellyfish:
... throw rubbish like plastic bags into the sea, many jellyfish and other marine creatures have died ...

In conclusion, tourism could be very important for the development of many countries. However, the increasing tourism...

:-)
soshianet 16 / 47  
Jul 24, 2011   #4
just .... "comma"
Nowadays, more and more people are becoming aware of the decrease in the expenses of travelling and hence tourism is booming.
It is believed that tourism is playing an important part in the economy of different countries, and it also helps to open the minds of both visitors as well as domestic people.

Firstly, a host country will receive a huge amount of foreign currency in a form of the money visitors bring to this country.
Take my hometown, for instance, it used
We have lost our beautiful coastlines and also have fewer amounts of tourist each year.
OP the leaf ninja 9 / 28  
Jul 27, 2011   #5
have fewer amounts of tourist each year
have less amount of tourist each year

I think I made a mistake here

it should be have fewer tourists each year
I think amount is not used in front of people (countable nouns), isnt it?
linh202 11 / 23  
Jul 28, 2011   #6
It is believed that tourism is playing an important part in the economy of different countries and it also helps to open the minds of both visitors as well asand domestic people.

We have lost our beautiful coastlines and also have had less amount of tourist each year. This clearly shows that tourism can cause many bad effects on the environment and on the value of the places.

Take my hometown for instance, it used to be well-known for its beautiful and extensive beaches and people like towhich attract people to go swimming in the sea andas well as enjoy seafood at some restaurants near the beaches. However, because many tourists carelessly throw rubbishes like plastic bags into the sea, many jellyfishes and other marine creatures have died and , so the place is not as clean as it used to be.

Locals started making souvenirs and sell them to visitors and haveto earn money to buy food and other necessary stuff that they can not produce. Also, from the activity the local people do in their everyday life, tourists can learn a lot about their culture which is the greatest benefit from tourism.

You should use different conjunctions to link sentences in stead of using only one ( too much and). Anyway, your ideas are good and clear.


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