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IELTS:how tourism influence both country and person?(argument)


sobin 12 / 24  
Apr 30, 2011   #1
hi,
thanks for your patience and time..i'm very happy to recieve any comments and correction about my essay.Unfortunately i couldn't upload the chart for task-1 essay..once again thanks for your valuable time..

thanks alot:-)
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Task-1
The table shows the percentage of pupils who entered higher education from five secondary schools between 1995 and 2000 inclusive.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The table gives information about the pecentage of pupil who joined for higher education from selected school namely Royston Academy,Greystone High school,Harble Secondary School,fairfield Girls school,Crackened boys school from 1995 to 2000

In detail, Greystone High school was one of the best schools in 1995.In that year 90percent of pupils from Grestone school entered for higher education.Meanwhile,Harble Secondary school was one of the schools which showed the least percentage;that was 30 percent;in the number of students who joined for higher education.Students from rest of the schools were better than Harble Secondary school.Despite a slight decrease in 1996 Crackend Boys school maintained its percentage around 60 to 62 in between 1995 and 2000.At the same time, both Royston Academy and Harble secondary scool were showing a gradual increase in the number students who joined for higher education.Eventually,Harble Secondary school showed the highest percentage in 2000;that was around 80 percent.While the Greystine High school was showing a gradual decrease in its percentage.

Moreover,the table shows a singnificant increase in the number of students who enrolled for further education after their higher secondary studies.

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Task-2
present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
Although tourists in many countries are a significant source of revenue,they are frowned upon for various reasons.For the tourist,however,travelling is supposed to broaden the mind and be an educational experience.

-in what ways do you think travelling does this?
-And in what ways do you think travelling does the opposite,i.e. narrows people minds?
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In these modern days travelling to new places has become a part of life.Mnay people arrange travel to tourist hot spots for relaxation of mind.Apart from that,countries get a huge amount of revenue from tourism.Therefore,they promote advertisements about their cultural heritage through the medias.

However,tourism industries help people to touch the soul of country's heritage.This helps to gain more knowledge and ideas about the world and life.For instance,most parts of Great Brittain are the rich sources of knowledge about the industrial revolution.The person who visits this country gains knowledge about its culture and industrial revolution.Moreover,culture varies from country to countries.The person who visit one place may try to adapt some parts of its culture.Visiting one country is the best way to know its people and their believes.This provides new philosophies about life and way of living.

Other than this,some of the past incidents against tourists compelled to hange views about some countries.for example,kidnapping of two foreign tourists by somalian pirates might have affected the tourism industry of that country.Political wars and terrorism influence the tourism industryvery badly.Growing threat aginst western tourists have already created a big issue in international level.

However,travelling always helps us to know new things.It creates a relation among people and countries.In a nutshell,travelloing new places give new knowledge and experience.Moreover,that provides great benefits to the country.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 2, 2011   #2
The table gives information about the percentage of pupils who enrolled in higher education from selected schools, namely ...

...Royston Academy,Greystone High school,Harble Secondary School,fairfield Girls school, and Crackened Boys School from 1995 to 2000.----I made small changes here and also added a period at the end.

Capitalize all words in the name of the school: Greystone High School, Grestone School

Eventually, Harble Secondary School showed...

... the highest percentage in 2000;that was around 80 percent, while the Greystine High school was showing a gradual decrease in its percentage.

:-)
biangbiang 2 / 4  
May 3, 2011   #3
However,travelling always helps us to know new things.It creates a relation among people and countries.In a nutshell,travelloing to new places give new knowledge and experience.Moreover,that provides great benefits to the country.

Hi Sobin, you might need to revise the words in red, some grammatical error. I am not a pro so I may be wrong.


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