Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Tourism: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Is this a positive trend or not?


Gracie89 2 / 1  
Jun 8, 2020   #1
I am practicing writing task 2 in IELTS test. Here is my second essay about tourism.

TOPIC: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.

What are your opinion on this?


======
Global tourism has increased dramatically in recent years. Despite the undeniable fact that the tourist trade has brought some difficulties for the environment in the host countries, I would consider that the overall impact of international holiday making has in fact been positive. Two of the primary benefits associated with this trend are as follows.

First of all, economies' development in most nations especially developing countries certainly depends on the tourism industry. The popularity of low-cost airlines is making it cheaper to travel abroad, as a result, more people in the world intend to choose to travel overseas in order to relax and have fun in their leisure activities. Then it helps to improve the standard of living among the local inhabitants. Furthermore, it brings jobs and encourages younger people to stay in their community instead of seeking work in the city.

Traveling abroad, nowadays, is not expensive as it was in the past thus everybody can afford to have a chance to discover spectacular things in different places. Go somewhere new which not only opens our minds but it also broadens our horizon. Additionally, the tourist trade was often criticized because of the pollution its cause, however, the popularity of eco-tourism which I think indicates that the efforts of people and government who try to save our environment and wish to protect it rather than harm it.

The benefits of increased tourism far outweigh its drawbacks if the awareness of travelers who move to the host countries is raised. They should always treat and behave in a responsible way whether they are at home or the places they visit as well as the locals with respect and conservancy so that they make tourism better.

Tinathanh 5 / 13  
Jun 9, 2020   #2
Hello, I am practising for my Ielts test too. As a English learner, I have some comments about your writing.

1. The question is about Discussion + Opinion essay, so you need to discuss both sides. I think body paragraph 1 for the positive sides and body paragraph 2 for the negative sides. And you will give your own opinion in the Introduction and Conclusion. (There are some pages teaching the types of writing task 2 for Ielts that you should visit)

2. The words and phrases you use are good (better than me now)

Good luck!
Osama0435 5 / 9 4  
Jun 10, 2020   #3
@Gracie89

Hello Gracie I'm preparing my IELTS too. If you have time, please read some of my threads and it will be great, if you could help me to check them and give me some comments. Thanks.

I think the essay above is a good essay. However I discovered some mistakes in your essay. Following are the problems.

1. brought some difficulties for ... [to]

2. in most nations especially [in] developing countries certainly depends [certainly] on the tourism industry

3. is making it cheaper to ... [makes]

4. is not [as] expensive as it was in the past [,] thus (or you can finish the sentence and write a new one with thus in front of the sentence)

5. I personally think you could write [to sum, in conclusion or to conclude] in the begin of your last paragraph.

Sincerely,


Home / Writing Feedback / Tourism: International tourism is now more common than ever before. Is this a positive trend or not?