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IELTS: tourism as source of revenue, disadvantages should not be overlooked.


jflo 4 / 12 2  
Aug 9, 2013   #1
Question: tourism is becmong increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvatages should not be overlooked. Discuss both views and discuss.

All over the world, nations are trying to showcase their respective countries to attract visitors because of the belief that with more tourist, more money will come in. Tourism will generate more income for the country and will have economic benefits even for the locals in a particular area. Investments will come in due to the high demand of services and to take advantage of the influx of visitors. In turn, the governement will earn money from the revenues collected from the business establishments,

The creation of jobs is also a response to the booming tourism. The need for manpower will arise to provide and supply the increasing needs of the visitors. For the business-inclined, it will be the perfect time to set up their businesses without having to worry about the number of people who will avail the products and services being offered. These new jobs are the sources of money for the laborers and business oweners alike.

However, the disadvantages of tourism should also be put into consideration. Pullotion threatens a certain place because of the growing number of people and establishments. For instance, garbage disposal may become a problem due to the increase volume of wastes and of people who who fail to properly dispose their wastes.

In addition, the natural beauty of the place being visited can be jeopardized. The development of the tourist spot by the local government to make it more tourist-friendly will only make it less natural because all the renovations done. Failure to preserve its natural element will make it less attractive as it was used to be. Subsequently, in more severe cases, the complete destruction of a particular tourist destination is a big possibility if no measure are done to prevent such occurences.

In conclusion, a flourishing tourism has it economical advantages for the country and its citizens. Its ill effects, however, can lead to the destruction of the enviromment that was once a beautiful and profit-generating attraction.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 9, 2013   #2
[quote=jflo]All over the world, nations are trying to showcase their respective countries to attract visitors because of the belief that with more tourist, more money will come in./quote]

This is not grammatically incorrect. However, I wish you employed a hook in the introduction that well explains about your main topic and also helps align your essay with the topic.

However, the disadvantages of tourism should also be puttaken into consideration.
bobinv 5 / 14 3  
Aug 9, 2013   #3
Its a well written essay.. Just my suggestion

The creation of jobs is also a response to the booming tourism. The need for manpower will arise to provide and supply the increasing needs of the visitors. For the business-inclined, it will be the perfect time to set up their businesses without having to worry about the number of people who will avail the products and services being offered. These new jobs are the sources of money for the laborers and business oweners alike.

Shouldnt the introduction have both sides of the topic since both will be discussed in the following paragraphs and it would give the examiner a short brief of what you will discuss.

sources of money

source of money

put into consideration

taken into consideration

For instance, garbage disposal may become a problem due to the increase volume of wastes and of people who who fail to properly dispose their wastes.

For instance, garbage disposal may become a problematic/difficult task due to increase in waste volume and people wouldn't dispose their wastes.

because all the

becuase of all the

All the best mate
OP jflo 4 / 12 2  
Aug 9, 2013   #4
How would you state your introduction to the task description if you are to make one? Maybe you can give me a sample. :)

Any other comments on the body and the conclusion?

Thanks in advance. :)
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Aug 10, 2013   #5
How would you state your introduction to the task description if you are to make one? Maybe you can give me a sample. :)

Okkk.... here's my attempt to do what you are asking :)
Tourism, without any doubt, is an important economic activity that helps nations generate considerable revenues that can be utilized to better the lives of their people. However, tourism can have very negative impacts on society too. Therefore. we need to have a careful consideration on the negative effects of touris.


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