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'My town is in Gaya' - IELST exam essay


norza 3 / 6  
Nov 27, 2012   #1
Here my topic is (some countries have come to rely on tourism on tourism as their major source of income.However, many people belibeve that the problems caused by tourism are more serious than those it has solved.)

To what extent doyou agree or disagree with this opinion?

In our country, the tourism are the major source of income and they give us fulfill of satisfaction in our life. I think that, they havenot cause serious problem in our town. But may some other country have caused some serious problem. So today i m partly to agree with this statement and here i have a good reson with suitable example on this statemen

My town is in Gaya and its in easten side of India. my town is most beautiful and wonderful place in the world. They have big buddist temple and most of tourism visied for this temple. Also in most of winder , they have teaching of happiness by some hight lama. We consider that day is big fasival. because they geather one milllion of people from different kind of countries. During that day they earns as double and troble as compare to they normal day. They charge double rent in hotel as rooms and lost of new tea shopes . Also lots of new restaurant and majority people are trying to sale some new things and serve for the tourist. Our people got more active on these days. All the road are full of traffic and , due to more new transportation of vehicle,

Also some other seson have lots of group tourist come see the view and visit temple.
so i dont think that tourist cause serious problem, may be they cause like steal some priceless things from temple or fight with local people.

In finally i like to tourist come our town and we share build our relationship and that is binefit for both side.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 27, 2012   #2
In finally (in the conclusion you should restate the thesis statement first.) i like to tourist come our town and we share build our relationship and that isbenefitsfor both sides .

You should work hard on your grammar. Read as many texts as possible. Reading various texts would help you to improve your writing skills. Try to focus on the structures and the words used in the sentences. And remember, practicing is the key of success :))
OP norza 3 / 6  
Dec 2, 2012   #3
thank you for your help. i will emprove my wirtting skill. may i ask you some thing . i want to emprove my writting skill and how?

i have no idea. every day i m writting something. but its not working well . so plz help me
thank you]
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 2, 2012   #4
the tourism areis the major source of income

tourism is / tourists are

they give us fulfill of satisfaction in our life.

... this part needs to be rephrased... your idea does not flow well;

Tourism helps us having a better life

(You should talk about the role of these tourist attractions on the economy of your town since this is what the topic asked you.)

Yes... you need to talk about what is asked by the prompt. .... So in this case, you can say;
First, tourism helps local people to find their living. For example, my hometown, Gaya is one of the major tourist attractions in Eastern India. There are many Buddhist temples that attract many tourists during the year. Many people living in Gaya, engage in Tourism related industries such as selling goods to tourists and renting out rooms for them. Therefore tourism has helped my people to lead good lives.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Dec 2, 2012   #5
i will i mprove my wirting skill. may i ask you some thing . i want to i mprove my writing skill and how?
i have no idea. every day i m writting something. but its not working well . so plz help me

The best way for improving your writing skills is reading various texts with different subjects. Reading not only helps you to become fimiliar with a wide range of topics, but also it familiarizes you with different structures of sentences.It also teaches you how to use words in appropriate context. In addition, write as many essays as you can and then post them here. The members' comments would help you to find your errors more easily.

In order to improve your vocabulary, you can prepare a notebook and allocate each page of it to a specific subject. Then, write the related words to that subject at the page. The topics like "environment", "Family", "tourism", "social issues", etc. are very common topics that you should work on.


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