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'tracing family history' - ielts writing


gaoboxm 1 / 1  
Jan 5, 2012   #1
Family history

Family history is the systematic narrative and research of past events relating to a specific family. Nowadays, there is a trend to trace family history, which will benefit some people.

We can find some changes of tracing family history. For one hand, until the late 19th century, family histories were almost exclusively of interest to persons who had obtained their wealth or rank by inheritance. Other people, who had inherited nothing, might, in extreme cases, suppress their family history as a matter of shame. Now, modern family history explorers include not only the rich but also the poor, because the later need to find valuable points from their ancestors, which can inspirit themselves.

For another hand, there are some technologies induced in finding and using family history, they are DNA, online database, software, disease protection and gene research. First, DNA can help people to find out and distinguish those whom belong to same family, it is extremely useful for adopted people or long lost relatives to find out their parents and relatives. DNA genealogy offers some hope of moving family history research boundary further back into time which can avoid the shortage of early origins of all families and the invisible in prehistory time. Second, online database gives all people a chance to find out all kinds of information such as pictures, letters, succeeded antiques, traditions and culture that will help them get clue for finding family history. Third, software made people work more easily than ever before. Fourth, after known details of family history people can protect the risk of disease. Fifth, gene research used in family history can also avoid disease and provide better family advice.

There are lots of benefits of family tree, while the benefits of family history projects may vary according to the people who pursue the hobby. Some schools engage students in such projects as a mean to reinforce lessons regarding immigration and the history of the nation. Other benefits include family medical histories with families of serious medical conditions that are hereditary etc. For example, family history is an important risk factor for problems like heart disease, stroke, diabetes and cancers. Realizing that you are at risk gives you a chance to reduce that risk by following a healthier life style and getting tested as needed.

Family history is such a good thing that we should put more efforts into it and then certainly can benefit from it.
apidjakfar 2 / 12  
Jan 7, 2012   #2
Hallo Gao

You have answered the question straightforwardly and your argument is quite strong, however, the thing that need to be improved is that grammatical thing, such as the term "for one hand" replaced with on one hand and so forth. In addition, I am not native speaker, so it is better to ask advice from native colleague to revise yours.

another point I want to comment is that I do not know under which category you take the IELTS whether it is academic or general, as far as I have known, for academic one, you have to use formal words or sentences instead of informal one. for example " use a great number/ amount of benefit instead of the term a lot of.

Good luck
Apid
OP gaoboxm 1 / 1  
Jan 9, 2012   #3
many thanks, I will take academic test soon. Now I am considering the structure of my paper.
crystal77 8 / 13 1  
Jan 9, 2012   #4
very intriguing paper!


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