Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Traditional clothes, bowler hats, handmade macramé shawls, layered skirts and blouses in La Paz


Bekuk22 15 / 21 3  
Sep 21, 2016   #1
Article Summary, Indigenous 'Chola' Clothing Comes to Fashion Week

Currently, fashion become popular in some countries specially in Bolivia's capital city La Paz where traditional clothes really liked by them. Traditional clothes, bowler hats, handmade macramé shawls, layered skirts and blouses. Many years ago, fashion designer Elianan paco paredes has introduced what she has made at New York city's fashion week last week. She made historical design which attracts people who see it.

Bringing indigenous designs to New York is huge step for paco paredes thought not the first time her clothing has received international recognition. It doesn't just receive in New York but in some place their designed liked. Their designs get response from some people because it shows the identity of local women in La Paz.

ibal28 20 / 30 5  
Sep 21, 2016   #2
Hi Bekuk22. You did it well. I found a minor mistake. So, I just left a few of suggestions.

Currently (you may also use Nowadays, In this day and age, These days, etc.) , fashion becomebecomes(the plural verb 'become' doesn't appear to agree with the singular subject 'fashion') popular in some countries speciallyespecially in Bolivia's capital ...

... made A historical design which attracts people who see it.

.... it shows the identity of local women in La Pazthere(you have already mention it) .

Note:
- some words you may change it with sophisticated vocabularies and it will naturally decrease repetitive word in your essay.
- you have to pay attention for using an article for some words


Hope this can help you. Keep writing!!


Home / Writing Feedback / Traditional clothes, bowler hats, handmade macramé shawls, layered skirts and blouses in La Paz