Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods(agree/disagree)


Daniel1991 1 / -  
Sep 8, 2011   #1
I am a green hand, please help me improve my writing~ Thank you very much

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A fact of life which we have to face today is that international fast foods such as McDonald's and Subway have already taken place of traditional foods in many parts of the world today since nineteenth century. Some individuals hold the view that traditional foods should be superseded by international fast foods, which are the symbols of convenience, efficiency and low price, but frankly, from my perspective, international fast foods do impair the fabric of both families and societies.

To families, fast foods are hazards in terms of family bond and individual body functions. To begin with, consuming fast foods will reduce the opportunities of communication among family members when they gather together to prepare for traditional foods such like dumplings and mooncakes, which are traditional Chinese desserts made of sweet bean paste and some other ingredients. This drawback becomes more severe in view of family members' time together is shrinking these days as a result of the acceleration of life, and we cannot help but spend much more time on working. What is more, traditional foods have an incomparable advantage in nutrition than international fast foods just like pizza, hamburger and hotdog because fast foods' high calorie and salty taste would give rise to obesity. That is why it stands to reason that international fast foods will surely impact the family fabric.

To societies, fast foods exert profound influence on deforestation, global warming and loss of traditional culture. There are two reasons to interpret aforementioned view. Deliberating on the fact that approximately all of fast foods are packed with paper, it seems that we have no choice but to fell more forest trees to meet these growing needs, thus leading to more serious greenhouse effect, a main culprit for global warming. Besides, too many international fast foods would make you overlook the essence of culture embodied by traditional foods resulting in the reality that less and less people pay their attention to traditional foods and eating custom, and cultural diversity may be destroyed by negligence at worst. Therefore, the crisis caused by the impact of international fast foods is manifest for the society.

Arguably, fast foods, to some extent, do have their own merits. Nevertheless, international fast foods are double-edged swords, nothing but a tragic come-off would strike us if we lose ourselves in international fast foods. I highly recommend that we improve and promote traditional foods in order to strengthen the family bond and protect the national culture as well as diversity of the whole world.
Geenesh 21 / 29  
Sep 11, 2011   #2
if you are writing IELTS essay, i think in your introduction, u should state to what extent do you agree with the topic given, then u can proceed to the body.

and also it is advisable to write five short paragraphs, one intro, three body paragraphs, n one conclusion. have ur refutation point at your fourth paragraph b4 the conclusion

:)


Home / Writing Feedback / traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods(agree/disagree)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳