Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


Will traditional skills die off due to technological advancement?


raufh05 2 / 5 1  
Nov 11, 2013   #1
In the past few decades, technology has developed dramatically and has had a big impact on people's traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that the significant impact makes it spotless to put an effort on keeping traditional skills and lifestyle a life. However, I believe the economic competition between the countries is so high that makes it hard for traditional skills and way of life to survive

In today's world of economic race, every countries first priority is the growth of economy. Technology has been the major factor in economic growth. With the help of technology company produces cheaper and better quality products it leads growth of economy. Therefore, every country wants to have the best technology in order to keep in the economic race. These competition forces the traditional skills and life style to die. For example, before the industry revolution companies manufactured products by hands, and it was time taking and expensive. But as technology progressed slowly machines replaced hand workers as result the company's become more productive and profited more.

Furthermore, technology has mad the life people very convenient. For example, in past the common way of communication was either faces to face or sending later by post that took long time to reach the destination. But today people communicate online, through e-mail, Facebook and mobile phone.

In conclusion, the advancement of technology and economical race between the countries makes it pointless to hold tight with traditional skills and ways of life. It would be better to improve technological skills and lifestyle.
phuongnam95 9 / 28  
Nov 11, 2013   #2
the second point is shorter than the first one. I suggest you put it longer.
dumi 1 / 6924 1592  
Nov 11, 2013   #3
Some argue that the significant impact makes it spotless to put an effort on keeping traditional skills and lifestyle a life.

This sentence is not very clear and you need to introduce the background of this issue more clearly.

However, I believe the economic competition between the countries is so high that makes it hard for traditional skills and way of life to survive

Your prompt does not talk about any economic competition, but how technological advancement would impact on traditional skills. Therefore I fee this sentence goes out of topic. You need to present your position in the argument very clearly and it should also be aligned with your topic.
OP raufh05 2 / 5 1  
Nov 11, 2013   #4
Dumi, this is the topic give by ietls tester. When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

its about improvement of technology forcing traditional skill and lifestyle to day out.. I agree with the topic and tried to explain economy being to root influencing the technology to force lifestyle and traditional skills to die out. do u think i am not replaying the topic ?

Thanks guys!
beula 3 / 10 1  
Nov 11, 2013   #5
hand workers

you had better use ' manual workers' or works done by manually
thanks.
dumi 1 / 6924 1592  
Nov 12, 2013   #6
its about improvement of technology forcing traditional skill and lifestyle to day out.. I agree with the topic and tried to explain economy being to root influencing the technology to force lifestyle and traditional skills to die out. do u think i am not replaying the topic ?

Yes... I think you need align your writing more with the topic. Technological advancement has an impact on economic growth, but this does not seem to be in direct relationship with your prompt. Talk about what sort of impact technology will impose on traditional skills. Will they die down due to inventions of new technology? Your writing should revolve around that !


Home / Writing Feedback / Will traditional skills die off due to technological advancement?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳