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[IELTS] The traditional skills and ways of life dying out.


mrmo2610 1 / 1  
Jan 17, 2014   #1
It is universally acknowledged that recently technological advances and their global applications have put conventional skills and lifestyles in jeopardy in many nations. Some people are of the opinion that the effort of preserving traditional values will remain marginal and there is no need to avoid their disappearance. However, I totally disagree with this notion for several reasons.

Firstly, traditional skills and ways of life can provide innovative ideas to meet the escalating demands of consumers. As the living standards improve, people tend to prioritize the individuality and the goods coming out of mass production, therefore, fall short to their expectations. While modern technologies cannot ensure the uniqueness of products, traditional production methods do. For example, because Vietnam handicrafts are produced traditionally and are different to each other, they sell well in Europe which is considered a highly demanding market.

Secondly, conventional skills and lifestyles could be used effectively in education. More specifically, being a part of a country's history and culture, they can help educate young people to cherish their own motherland. Current teaching methods are likely to be theoretical and the participation in porcelain vases making, for instance, offers students a chance to understand and gain insights into the life of the elder generations. This activity, without a doubt, is more fun and probably inspires the youth to endeavour to conserve traditional values.

As displayed above, I firmly hold the view that traditional skills and ways of life are worth saving from dying out. Indeed, they will continue to thrive if the goverment implements adequate measures.

Words: 258

Actually I have difficulty brainstorming for this topic. Can you give me feedback on the above essay and some ideas? Thank you.

tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 17, 2014   #2
For example, because Vietnam handicrafts are produced

As long as i know that so rarely for example is followed by because.
thakursajeeb 5 / 8  
Jan 18, 2014   #3
It is universally acknowledged that recently technological advances and their global applications have putjeopardized conventional skills and lifestyles in jeopardy in many nations

FirstlyFirst of all , traditional skills and ways of life can provide innovative ideas to meet the escalating demands of consumers.

Current teaching methods are likely to be theoretical. and the participation in porcelain vases making , For instance ,participation in making of porcelain vases offers students a chance to understand and gain insights into the life of the elder generations.
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Jan 18, 2014   #4
Hi Tran,
One of my kind request to you. Please write the full question before you essay so that it is easy for everyone to understand what type of question it is and also people can give you good feedback about your writing. Good Luck!!!

Current teaching methods are likely to be theoretical and the participation in porcelain vases making, for instance, offers students a chance to understand and gain insights into the life of the elder generations. This activity, without a doubt, is more fun and probably inspires the youth to endeavour to conserve traditional values.

In this statement, I think the first statement is incomplete in terms of idea and without expressing your point who have introduce an example.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 18, 2014   #5
Hi
It's good if you include the prompt also with the essay so that we can have a good look at it and align our comments more with what it asks :)

Actually I have difficulty brainstorming for this topic. Can you give me feedback on the above essay and some ideas? Thank you.

To answer this question, it is important to have an idea about your prompt. So include it in full in your future threads.
I feel your introduction follows a good structure. However, I like if you improved clarity more in the sentences. Give priority for clarity!
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 29, 2014   #6
For example, because Vietnam handicrafts are produced traditionallyusing traditional methods,andthey are different and unique from modern productions.to each other,Therefore they sell well in Europe which is considered a highly demanding market.have a good demand from European markets.

Secondly, conventional skills and lifestyles could be used effectively in education. More specifically, being a part of a country's history and culture, they can help educate young people to cherish their own motherland.

... your two ideas not connected well here;
Secondly, traditional skills and lifestyles may influence the development of a nation if the youth is knowledgeable about them and admire such national inheritance.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jan 30, 2014   #7
More specifically, being a part of a country's history and culture, they can help educate young people to cherish their own motherland.

which one is the ' verb'?
or you can say, ...they can help to educate young people...

This activity, without a doubt, is more fun and probably inspires the youth to endeavour to conserve traditional values.

better you say 'to endeavour and conserve' rather than 'to endeavour to conserve'
Serapke 8 / 14  
Jan 30, 2014   #8
I don't know. Personally, I found this essay quite interesting. You have a wide-ranged vocabulary. Fix those errors other people suggested and I believe you will be good to go. 8/9


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