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IELTS Task 2: Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing - moving from cities to rural areas

StrongBrother 1 / -  
Dec 9, 2020   #1
Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and government should encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas.

Does advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that an increasing number of vehicles and building in urban areas is overwhelming so some businesses are encouraged to relocate to outskirts in order to solve this issue. While I accept that replacing businesses to non-urban areas can sometimes have positive effect on the environment and traffic in cities, I believe that this trend is more likely to have a harmful impact.

On the one hand, some believe that the benefit of relocating companies to outskirts are varied. The first advantage is that if factories does no longer operate in cities, the quaility of environment in those site would be much more improved, which might help inhabitants enjoy fresh air and avoid a number of health diseases. Another clear benefit of this is that city dwellers would choose public transport to commute to work instead of using their private vehicles because they have to travel a further distance. Therefore, this could ease the traffic congestion and prevent traffic accidents when they are travelling.

However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Firstly, what should taken into consideration is that businesses is highly to lose their customers, suppliers, and business partners due to geographical distance, which might weaken their profitability. Secondly, this translation may trigger disorders in cities workers' routine. For instance, they have to get up earlier to commute to work or the quality of their diet at the workplace may not warranty.

In summary, taking into consideration all the aforementioned facts, I genuine believe that the protential drawbacks that relocating businesses to outskirts brings about are more significant for the reasons mentioned above.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15048 4830  
Dec 9, 2020   #2
Nothing is ever true in any Task 2 presentation. Do not make any claims of truth when there is no reference to such in the original prompt. You will never be asked to vouch for the validity of any statement provided. You will only be asked to give your opinion. Saying something is true, when it could otherwise not be true is a lie and exaggeration. Avoid making questionable claims in your paraphrased presentations.

Your restatement is inaccurate as it does not make any reference to the government encouraging businesses to move from cities to rural areas. So, you really have a problem here. You have a fictitious overstatement in the first sentence, then a lack of proper paraphrasing in the next. Both of which will cause you TA scoring problems in an actual test. Additional problems will be included because of the lack of proper task paraphrasing in your presentation:

OT: Does advantage outweigh the disadvantages?
YT: I believe that this trend is more likely to have a harmful impact.

There is an inaccurate task response, which will translate into a lack of proper understanding of the task requirement, leading to a response that is not related to the task. You cannot refer to some people in the essay because the focus is solely on the government action of encouraging businesses to move. Did you even bother to read the prompt? Outline the information? Identify who is speaking or the subject of the discussion and why? I cannot even continue to read this essay at this point. There are too many errors that will make it a failing essay due to the inclusion of incorrect discussion reference points.

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