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Traffic and congestion - IELTS II: problem and solution


cookie115 1 / 2 1  
Aug 12, 2020   #1

IELTS WRITING TASK II: problem and solution



Topic:
One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?
Essay:
Traffic jams in metropolises have recently become major topic of concern. This essay will suggest that one of the prime culprits of this phenomenon is rush-hour traffic and submit arranging flexible working hours and implementing a car-sharing scheme as the most viable remedies.

Traffic congestion is apprarently conducive to the circulation during peak times. Due to the attributes of white-collar jobs, the majority of residents in cities and commuters from outskirts go down on the roads at certain times each day, thereby sparking off road obstructions. Accordingly, they have to sit in long traffic queues and inch along until passing over cities' center.Take Ho Chi Minh city for example. It is not a rare sight to catch a glimse of city's avenues being packed in like sardines in peak hours.

A possible mitigation strategy to curb this dilemma is implementing flexible working-hour policy. To put it simply, office workers can opt for the working schedule that suits them best. Alternating phase shifts will possibly conduce an appreciable shrinkage in the number of people on the roads at the same time by at least a quarter. Another feasible solution is settiing up a car-sharing scheme. Colleagues living in adjacent areas or neighbours working at nearby workplaces will group together and commute to work. By decreasing the mumber of one-person car on the roads, it can free up road capacity and make peak hours congestion-free.

To conclude, to mitigate the magnitude caused by rush-hour traffic, which is the main trigger to gridblocks, a flexible working schedule and a car-sharing scheme should be set up in a reasonable manner right away.
bdmqnh 7 / 16 5  
Aug 12, 2020   #2
I think your essay is relatively good. Your have a wide range of vocab and nice phrases. However, there are 2 things I would suggest to make it more perfect

1. You should'nt state directly the reasons and solutions in the introduction. Instead, set aside them as topic sentences in each paragraph.
2. Your first paragraph is under-developed. It asks about the "causes", but you only give a simple sentece to present it, then state the result. You should focus on the cause and make it more detailed.

Hope this comment helps. Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,560 4442  
Aug 12, 2020   #3
You must outline your direct response to the questions in the prompt restatement. Direct question responses are part of the clarity of your opinion, which is a major scoring consideration. Failure to proper outline your topics for discussion in relation to the clarity of your opinion will be detrimental to your scoring in that section. These are considered the topic sentences for your reasoning paragraphs. The direct response will offer the examiner a clear overview of what your reasoning paragraphs will be about. It will also help you stay on track when it comes to the discussion topics of your essay. Some students forget the importance of giving themselves a reminder regarding their discussion topics within the written section. The outline of the prompt paraphrase helps keeps you on track and focused on your discussion points.


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