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'traffic jam, noisy neighborhood' - New movie theater may be built

Asselya /  
Nov 18, 2008   #1
Going to movie theater is becoming one of the fashion hobbies today's modern person. The more people in cinema the more money cinema owners will have. How owners of movie theater will attract more people to their owns, if most movie theaters show the same films in same time. They will try to attract people with new design and new technologies. Finally it means the newer cinema the more people will come there. So, is it good if a new movie theater may be built in my neighborhood?

No, it is not. Firstly, because it will bring more traffic jam. After working day every person tries to get home as fast as he or she can. But toward my house not only inhabitants of your district are standing in traffic, but also do people who want to see new film. This situation means that it takes me more time to get home than usually. Moreover, it means that there will be less place to park, because people who are watching film need parking place to their automobiles too.

An additional disadvantages of building new movie theater in my neighbothood is that it will be noisy. Usually people go to movie theater in the evening and usually they are young people. As we know, crowded place usually makes that place more polluted and more suitable to thieves, also to vandalism. So to walk in the evening in my district will be dangerously, chances to be victim of thieves or criminal bands are increasing. Furthermore, I must forget about having quite night.

In summary, I will oppose the idea of building a new movie theater, because I would rather to return quite and safe area, where I can meet people who I usually meet than to be in center of movie news.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 18, 2008   #2
First, what exactly is a "fashion hobby?" What do you mean here?

What does "How owners of movie theater will attract more people to their owns, if most movie theaters show the same films in same time" mean? I don't understand; please clarify.

How does one show a film "in same time"? I am confused; please clarify.

Make sure you are using the proper linking verbs, article adjectives, and conjunctive words, as they are the "glue" that will hold your essay together. For instance, "Usually people go to a movie theater..."

My main concern here is your grammar; you have a good essay but I am afraid that your story will get lost in mechanical errors. To help with this, there are many guides online that can help you, as well as some great books. I suggest one of the books from the "Prentice Hall Guide for College Writers" series written by Stephen Reid. You can pick any of them up cheap used, or get them from the library. I think there are six in the series now, and any of them would help you here.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 23, 2008   #3
Good afternoon :)

"Going to movie theater is a hobby for many people; therefore, the number of movie theaters has been increacingSpelling in the last ten years. No one is assured where the building of a new movie theater will occur; it may be in his or her neighborhood, or my neighborhood. If someone decided to built a new movie theater in my neighborhood, I would oppose the idea. "

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