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Traffic jumps are observed in many cities in the world. Writing IELTS task 2 about car belonging


mrfwijaya 3 / 3  
Nov 20, 2016   #1
The cars belonging are increasing by last 30 years. It causes many traffic jumps in many cities in the world. What causes of this issue? What action should government do to overcome?

Nowadays, people involve the car as the property that should possess in their life. The ownership of car is growing in number for the last three decades. Hence, that account for traffic congestion in various cities in the world. I believe that there are reasons which are responsible and attempts that government should take to tackle this issue.

The possible reason is public transports have failed to produce proper services for people. As we see, most public transports treat the passengers as they wish. They may drive with the relatively high speed making people be afraid and feel uncomfortable. Besides, the driver may also give unfriendly services as they just do their duty. Many passengers should feel that government is careless of what they experience. For example, in Indonesia, large numbers of minibuses for domestic service might have loss attention in quality of service. Frequently, they would have out of passengers in one time route so the numbers of seats are unavailable. It is more likely recommended for government creating the pure quality of public transport management to cover the amount of demands.

Furthermore, people could easily own new car by credit payment services that is provided by private agencies. Cash payment should not be highly required of the system because it allows people to have the car through the several times of payment. Thus, it is encouraging public to take the chance to have car even more than one in once. I think that the government should intervene this trend by introducing the laws regarding to this issue that include the management and technical measures to accommodate the people's effort in belonging cars.

In summarize, the causes of this term might come from the improper management in transport affairs. It should be handled by government to solve.

ummasm 2 / 3  
Nov 20, 2016   #2
Hi Rinul :) here is my suggest for your essay

1. ... in various cities in the worldI did not see the verb there

2. ... passengers in one time route so the numbers of ... you should add coma (,) before so

3.I think your conclusion is too short. You should give minimal 3 sentences.

Hopefully, It is help.

Keep writing!
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 21, 2016   #3
Hello, let me give my correction for you

large numbers of minibusesminibusses for

inthe quality of service (this word "quality" need article "the")

the amountnumber of demands (demand is countable noun and must use quantifier "number")

credit payment services that is provided (credit payment services are plural noun, so use verb in plural too, like are)

encouraging the public to take the chance to have the car even (these word, like public and car, need article "the")

the laws regarding to

In summarizesummarizing

management inof("in" not right preposition for management)

by the government to solve (the word "Government" nedd article "the")
Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Nov 21, 2016   #4
Hello, I think it's a solid article, I have some advises:

1. ... should feel that the government is careless ...

2. ... transports treat the passengers as they wish--> I think this sentence is not so clear that I might misunderstood that the passengers are treated as they wish.

3. In summarizesummary ....

Hope it helps!


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