Unanswered [2] | Urgent [1] - SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS: traffic problems - some people in the world have a car for themselves


Eva Novita Sari 47 / 72 2  
May 1, 2014   #1
In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------

Nowadays, some people in the world have a car for themselves. With the result, we find many cars in the street that are causing traffic jam. Then, in order to solve traffic problem, government should tax car owners heavily. Next, governments use tax money to improve public transportation. However, this order of such a solution which has advantages and disadvantages should be known.

On the one hand, they can get advantage from this order. For example, they are not undergoing traffic jam that make crowded in the street. With the result, people can go to their office or other workers that will become fluently through obstacle. Because, some people are not driving car excessive. One house just use one car, they do not use individual car again because tax is expensive.

On the other hand, we can get disadvantage from this solution. Sometime, some people have not much money for paying tax because they just have a little salary. It is caused that some people pay credit cars for going to office to become easy. If we will go to office or other works, we should use public transportation such as train, bus, and other. So, we will spend long time to go to our office especially if we are far distance from our house to office. With the result, we will always late to arrive in there. I think this solution will be made people who feel difficult for some people who have a little salary.

In summary, I think this solution from government is good idea for decreasing traffic problems with tax private car owners heavily. With the result, some people will alleviate their car because they should pay tax expensive because sometimes some rice people are stingy, so, they will think twice to use many cars. As we know, rich people have many cars in their house. They use car for showing. However, some people are very need a car because they are working by far distance and they just have a little salary. Their car are bought with credit.

upinipin 32 / 49 1  
May 1, 2014   #2
With the result, some people will alleviate their car because they should pay tax expensive because sometimes some rice people are stingy , so, they will think twice to use many cars.

how could you say some rich people are stingy
itsmonica 2 / 2  
May 1, 2014   #3
I think ur overview should be simple. leave "then","next" out and form one sentence may be better.
try to avoid words like this"sometimes".
do not use "with the result" too often and try to find out its alternatives.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
May 1, 2014   #4
you have composed a good explanation, but you should give more specific example, to make it specific, you can take some examples from your surround or your daily life
dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
May 2, 2014   #5
Nowadays, some people in the world have a car for themselves

This is a pretty weak hook :( Your hook should be an interesting idea that comes with a punch :) The hook should also be relevant to your topic.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: traffic problems - some people in the world have a car for themselves