Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: TRAFFIC PROBLEMS AND SOLUTION


quynhnhule2705 1 / -  
Sep 2, 2021   #1
IF COUNTRIES ARE SERIOUS ABOUT SOLVING TRAFFIC PROBLEMS, THEY SHOULD TAX PRIVATE CARS VERY HEAVILY AND USE THE MONEY TO PROVIDE FREE OR VERY CHEAP RAIL TRAVEL.

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

Traffic concerns are likely to cause a burden on many countries in recent times, which lead to some ideas about raising taxes on individual automobiles and using these funds for developing low-cost rail services. From my perspective, I completely agree with this solution due to these two main reasons below.

The first one is that the increase in taxation, to some extent, could reduce the number of vehicles on the roads, which results from the lack of capability of paying vehicle fees. Having paid a large amount of taxes, which brings out great convenience, seems impossible for most people. Instead, car drivers will tend to switch to another public transport and traffic trouble can gradually be accomplished.

Besides, taking advantage of public services while cutting down personal cars makes conditions for environmental improvement. As a result, there is less gas emission released into the air and people will have chances to enjoy fresher atmosphere surroundings. For instance, the greenhouse effect has a notable minimize after COVID-19 because of the vehicle lessen.

On the whole, high taxes on vehicles and upgrading the public transport system are some solutions that could maintain both countries' economy and environment. Therefore, the government should raise the people's awareness of these issues if they want to achieve any significant developments.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,569 3753  
Sep 3, 2021   #2
The statement made in the orginal prompt is not a final solution. The sentence should have been presented as a "suggestion" or "suggested solution". The word "suggestion" makes a big difference in the meaning and emotion of the sentence. It creates a pure restatement rather than an altered paraphrase. The first reason presented is relevant to the "traffic" situation that is central to the discussion. However, the second paragraph focuses on the environment, which did not connect to the traffic concern of the statement That paragraph is a non-scoring presentation as it is a prompt topic deviation. As this paragraph will not recieve a score, the essay is lacking one relevant topic discussion. It will score less due to under-development.
DungBui 2 / 2 1  
Sep 7, 2021   #3
Your essay lack of words. This task need at least 250 so you should add more ideas or making clearer your ideas.

So the topic ask you agree or disagree with the former statement. The second paragraph should write about the benefit of 'TAX PRIVATE CARS VERY HEAVILY AND USE THE MONEY TO PROVIDE FREE OR VERY CHEAP RAIL TRAVEL'.

Example, because of the free rail travel (underground network free for children and the elder) so it can limited the quantities of people using private transport.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: TRAFFIC PROBLEMS AND SOLUTION