Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


IELTS General Training - Letter Writing - job at a football club


12thaugust2005 2 / 4 1  
Jul 4, 2014   #1
Can someone tell me how these essays look. Please suggest any improvements. I would happy if someone were to tell if these essays can get me an 8.

You are looking for a part-time job at a football club.
Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:

introduce yourself
explain what experience and special skills you have
tell him/her when you think you could start

I have attached my response in the post. Request members to suggest improvements or correct any errors. I write based on the "sounding well" that means if something sounds well I assume its correct.



vincethahaha 1 / 1  
Jul 4, 2014   #2
I don't think your handwriting is good enough, mate.
OP 12thaugust2005 2 / 4 1  
Jul 5, 2014   #3
Is it too bad? I mean is it incomprehensible ? I m asking because I can read it without much effort and I just want to know how others see it. Thanks for your honest feedback on my handwriting, but can u say whats not legible in detail. I m worried abt my writing task in IELTS. Hope my handwriting doesnt cost me my score.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 6, 2014   #4
I have attached my response in the post.

Well, I think the best way to have meaningful feedback is to write and copy your essay here. Readers are hard to a picture. It's too small.
OP 12thaugust2005 2 / 4 1  
Jul 6, 2014   #5
I am posting my essay here, instead of the picture. I highly appreciate your valuable comments and suggestions to improve.

As per our earlier agreement, I have to move into the apartment at 190 A Collins street on March 12th.. However I am sorry to inform you that I would be unable to occupy the apartment until second week of April, due to personal circumstances.

During a business visit to Brisbane last week, I met with an accident. I have sustained shoulder and knee injuries and require complete rest for about a month. Due to this unfortunate incident, I would not be able to relocate to Melbourne for another month.

As per the terms of the rental agreement, I will be wire transferring this months rent to your bank account. In the eventuality of further delay in my relocation due to my recovery, I request you to kindly terminate the agreement after the month end. I will keep you informed about my progress well in advance. I apologise for all the inconvenience caused. I request your cooperation in this regard.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS General Training - Letter Writing - job at a football club
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳