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IELTS task 1 General Training : Letter to landlord


Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Jan 12, 2014   #1
Hi everyone, Kindly help me in finding my mistakes in the below writing

You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problem. Write a letter to your landlord

Explain the situation
Describe your problems
Tell him when you thing you can move in


Dear Mr.Steve,
I am Arun. I am your new tenant who has signed a rental agreement for your apartment at 25, Creams road, block 258, level 6, Singapore two weeks before. I hope you could have remember me.

As per the agreement, myself along with my wife supposed to move in by next month 1st onwards. I am afraid I will not be able to occupy the flat as I had agreed.

Unfortunately, during my vacation to my native last week in India, I had met with an accident, which causes a severe injury in my back bone. Doctor advised me to be in bed rest for at least next two months from now. Due to my physical condition, I have made necessary arrangements in my office to purse my work from home.

However, I will definitely pay your rental amount without fail starting from next month. I believe, you don't have any issues with this regard.

I hope to move in to your flat at Creams road, starting from next to next month 1st.

Yours faithfully,
Arun

SreeSam 12 / 38 7  
Jan 12, 2014   #2
I hope you could have remember me

- I hope you could remember me

As per the agreement, myself along with my wife supposed to move in by next month 1st onwards.

- As per the agreement, myself and my wife were supposed to move in to the apartment by 1st of next month.

I am afraid I will not be able to occupy the flat as I had agreed.

- I am afraid that I would not be able to keep up my word.

Unfortunately, during my vacation to my native last week in India, I had met with an accident, which causes a severe injury in my back bone.

- Unfortunately, during my vacation to India, I met with an accident where my back bone was severely injured.

Doctor advised me to be in bed rest for at least next two months from now

- Doctor has advised me for two months of complete bed rest.

Due to my physical condition, I have made necessary arrangements in my office to purse my work from home.

- This is not needed to be stated here !

I believe, you don't have any issues with this regard.

- Kindly let me know if you have any concerns with the same.

I hope to move in to your flat at Creams road, starting from next to next month 1st.

- I hope I will be in a better condition to travel by the end of March and I will move in to the flat immediately once am back.
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Jan 12, 2014   #3
Thanks Sreesam for your time in evaluating my essay. I will make use your suggestions in my next essay. kindly help improving my writing Since I am going to take my IELTS exam on 1st of February. Thanks.
SreeSam 12 / 38 7  
Jan 13, 2014   #4
Sure. This forum helps in improving your writing skills. I am learning a lot from it !!!

You can also go through the task 2 essays which are posted in this forum.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 13, 2014   #5
I am Arun. I am your new tenant who has signed a rental agreement for your apartment at 25, Creams road, block 258, level 6, Singapore two weeks before. I hope you could have remember me.

I am Arun, your new tenant who signed up the rental agreement for your apartment at 25, Creams road, block 258, level 6, Singapore two weeks before. Hope you could remember me.

I write this letter to inform you that there will be a small delay in moving into this apartment due to some unavoidable circumstances.
You should tell the reason for writing the letter in the first paragraph (introductory para) itself.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 13, 2014   #6
You should tell the reason for writing the letter in the first paragraph (introductory para) itself.

.... yes, it is important to tell the reason why you are writing the letter in the intro.

As per the agreement, myself along with my wife supposed to move in by next month 1st onwards. I am afraid I will not be able to occupy the flat as I had agreed.

Unfortunately, during my vacation to my native last week in India, I had met with an accident, which causes a severe injury in my back bone. Doctor advised me to be in bed rest for at least next two months from now. Due to my physical condition, I have made necessary arrangements in my office to purse my work from home.

These should be in one paragraph. You explain the problem - you signed up and agreed to move in next months, but now that you have a problem.

Unfortunately, during my vacation to my native last week in India,

.... I don't understand what you are trying to say here :(
OP Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Jan 13, 2014   #7
Thanks again Pahan and Dumi. Will follow the standard structure for letter writing as below

1) Introduce you to the reader if required in formal letter or (greeting in informal letter where intro is not required)
2) State the purpose reason for writing.
3) Fulfill the task requirements
4) Closing paragraph.

I hope the above structure is fine. Please correct me if am wrong.


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