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Transportation facilities and shopping mall. Describing maps IELTS TASK 1

aman12 1 / -  
Apr 12, 2017   #1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words

The map below displays Brandfieled city with its facilities. Plans of building new shopping mall have been suggested in two different sites of the city; S1 and S2.

two parts of a city, different features

Both suggested sites surround the city center, and are near to transportation facilities. However, they are located in nearly opposite direction and different landmarks surrounds them. No changes in the city have been proposed to fit building the shopping mall.

In the two proposed sites, they are located in a places surrounding the city center. For instance, in the south of S1 and north west of S2. In like manner, both sites are encompassed by transportation facilities comprised of railway and a road, both are far from the Golf Course and park.

The two proposals are in fact opposing each other as S1 is in the north border of Brandfieled near the Housing Estate. Conversely, S2 is on the north east neighbouring the Industrial Estate, but this was not the only difference between both sites. Moreover, there is a significant feature of the city presents in one site but not the other. The river passes beside location S1 overriding S2.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,666 4113  
Apr 13, 2017   #2
Aman, my opinion is that you cannot score higher than a 4 with this essay because you did not accurately represent all of the information that you were given in the illustration. For starters, you did not provide an accurate overview summary. The overview summary should have been presented as a paraphrasing of the topic and discussion instructions that you were given for presentation in the essay. The lack of this information created an incomplete first paragraph / opening statement for you. You will of course receive point deductions for every aspect of the illustration that you failed to represent in the summary essay, of which there are many. You failed to represent the various facilities and locations being proposed for the 2 different proposals, comparing the carried over suggested facilities whenever possible.

I would also like to call your attention to the second sentence of the second paragraph. When you say "For instance", you are expected to make a comparison between two subjects in the sentence. You do not have a comparison in that sentence. It is an incompletely developed sentence and will severely affect your GRA score.

It is because of these problems with your essay that I feel you will not get a passing score in an actual test. Make sure to correct the errors in your next practice test so that you can improve your overall score.
Anhy chan 12 / 23 1  
Apr 25, 2017   #3
Hi @aman12
The most important part that you should put attention in this essay is the way you describing each part of the area based on the map. it seems to me that there is an unclear explanation in which you compare the location each other, bacause there is no place as the former. Moreover, the overview should be clear to get a higher score in task achievement. When I read your overview closely, may be it just about 5 for IELTS score, because you just explain it partially. In addition, try to use mix of sentence variation to boost your gramatical range and accuracy score. Then, in order to fit in coherence and cohesion, try to learn more about how to use phrasal verb properly.

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