please help me! i need someone who can fix my incorrect grammar
'' The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport''.
The line graph illustrates the numbers of product transported by the Great Britain's 4 modes kind of transport from 1974 to 2002. In general, there are two big trends in this graph : upward and stable.
As can be seen, the quantities of goods delivered by road vehicles and ships grew up over the period of time. Staring with road transport, the first 20 years witnessed a mind fluctuation between slightly over 70m tonnes and approximately 80m tonnes goods transported which shot up significantly to well under 100m tonnes in 1998, then less slightly in the final reported years. Meanwhile, in using ships transporting, there was a dramatic rise in the products delivered from around 40m tonnes in 1974 to nearly 60m tonnes in 1982, after that it remained until 1994. In the next year, although a moderate dip was saw in the quantities of the goods, it recovered rapidly by about 20m tonnes in 2002.
On the other hand, transporting goods on railway and pipeline has a stabilize trend. Despite of being similar trend, delivery on railway had several features which was different with pipeline. For example; from 1974 to 1982, the quantities of goods transported by rail declined steadily by 30m tonnes whereas pipeline, a gradual rise of 10m tonnes.
... the numbers of product => the NUMBER of productS
4 modes kind => FOUR modes (choose either kinds or modes, and write numbers below 10 in words)
staring with => starting with (spelling)
70m => is it 70 million? Write it in full word.
Tonnes goods => tonnes OF goods
dip was saw => dip was SEEN
has a stabilize trend => HAD a STABLE trend
Despite of being similar trend => Despite HAVING A similar trend
which was different with => which WERE different FROM
whereas pipeline => whereas REGARDING pipeline, THERE WAS a...
Best
In general, there are two big trends in this graph : upward and stable.
this is not an appropriate sentence for expressing general trend. Write it clearly.
As can be seen
do not use this, because the examiner who reviews your work doesn't have the question booklet and he/she cannot see a graphs/tables/etc
U should compare the information given in the graph. u did not consider this imperative thing in the essay.Good luck
Ahmad
WHat exactly the letter "m" mean? Million?
Do not use abbreviation in IELTS writing!
I think the phrase "On the other hand" is not really appropriate, because you do not express clearly any "first hand" (like the phrase On the one hand).
If I were u, I would write "Different from road and ship transporting, transporting goods both on railway and pipeline ..."
