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If I am to travel 40 miles distance, I would choose the train


oktavianna 1 / 1  
Mar 21, 2014   #1
You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles (64 kilometer) away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of you would choose. I will give specific reasons for your choice.

If I have 40 miles (64 kilometer) away from my house, I will take transportation to travel my activities in outside the house. Many kinds of transportation such as a car, bicycle and train. I will give specific reason to elect train for my trip.

In other side, some people choose a car to travel, they believe that a car is effective transportation because they can stop wherever they want and they can get privacy when they go with their family, business partner and girl or boy friend. However, I think using a car is not the simple way because we have to buy gasoline, pay tax and pay the car insurance. I am sure if many people prefer to use a car for their transportation, it will make the traffic to be full up to happen traffic jam. So, a car is not effective way for trip.

Furthermore, choosing bicycle is the good way to travel because it is one of transportation that will not create pollution. However, I think using bicycle will take long time and it will make our body more tired, if I compare with others.

Overall, I prefer to use train for my transportation because train is the public transportation that can help me to speed up the time to destination. Train is cheap, I mast not have to buy gasoline, pay the tax and pay the insurance. I just sit, relax and enjoy with my trip. Traveling by train bring advantages too for earth because we can participant to reduce pollution and traffic jam.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 21, 2014   #2
First, introduce your topic to the reader and tell what type of transportation mode you would choose;

If I am to travel forty miles away from my house, I will have to take the most appropriate transportation mode for travelling that distance. The transportation options available for me for this task are the car, bicycle and train. Out of these three options, I favor the train to travel this reason.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 21, 2014   #3
Hi, oktaviana.
I suggest you to add what kind of essay that you write in the tittle. It is helpful for the other members to give you some advices.

Perhaps, this writing is kind of IELTS Task 1, Toefl writing, or others.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 31, 2014   #4
Improve your writing just by shortening some of these long sentences.

some people choose a car to travel, they believe that a car is effective transportation because they can stop wherever they want and they can get privacy when they go with their family, business partner and girl or boy friend

this is too long and contains a comma splice, occuring when you use a comma to join two complete sentences without placing an appropriate joining word between them.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 31, 2014   #5
well, your topic asks you what mode transportation you would choose. So, you need to keep your writing focused on you. However, here's some editing I do on what you wrote;

In other side On one hand, some people choose a car to travel. Theythey believe that a car is an effective transportation mode because they can stop wherever they want and they can getwould have more privacy when they go with their family, business partner and girl or boy friend.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Mar 31, 2014   #6
If I have 40 miles (64 kilometer) away from my house, I will take transportation to travel my activities in outside the house .

Many kinds of transportation such as a car, bicycle and train.

you don't have a verb

In other side, some people choose a car to travel, they believe that a car is effective transportation because they can stop wherever they want and they can get privacy when they go with their family, business partner and girl or boy friend.

too long sentence. try to rewrite this sentence.

However, I think that using a car that is not the simple way because we have to buy gasoline, pay tax and pay the car insurance.

Train is cheap, I mast not have to buy gasoline, pay the tax and pay the insurance.

follow the suggestion from mr. eddies.

Keep writing and pouring your idea in your essay.


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