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'By travelling I will be able' your favourite leisure activity, an expository writing

tinie 4 / 9  
Mar 21, 2012   #1
please help with me with grammer and sentrence structure...im poor in this language
write an expository paragraph (a topic sentence, 3 supporting sentences with supporting details and a concluding sentence based on this topic:
My Leisure Activity
Many people prefer to spend their time with benefit things.The purpose is to fulfill the interest and their leisure time. We can use the Internet to find informations, participate in the forum and write blogs as our leisure time. Many people still prefer reading is a lack of interest in them. They assume that reading is boring because sitting quietly without doing other activities. But for me reading is fun. Because I get a lot of useful information.My inherit hobby, reading, provides me with the ability to insert such an interesting anecdote into the normal introduction. Likewise, reading itself is alluring. When a book is in my hand, I can soon immerse myself into another world, the palace of the ancient east, the elegance of universe, or the emotion of an emperor. Through volumes of books, intellects of great people have nourished my mind and changed my ways of thinking. This interest I practiced since the school until now. The reading material that I love are novels, magazines, cookery books, motivation books and religion books.My reading material are not limited to magazines and books only, but with the internet facilities nowadays I can read the online Internet such as websites, blogs, forums, ebooks and much more.The second activity that I always do in free time is cooking. I am loved cooking. From the recipe books that I have read, I will practice cooking skills by trying the new recipes. I will request family members to try out my new dishes and comment on the food. In this way I will improve my cooking skills otherwise they will make us more closer. The last activity I like to do with my family is travelling. I will do this activity during the long school holidays and if there are enough budgets.By travelling I will be able to see interesting places, learn about the culture and try the new food.The conclusion is many activities that we can do in our leisure time. It depends to us to use the opportunities in front of our eyes on the present advanced facilities.
chalumeau /  
Mar 22, 2012   #2
I narrowed your paragraph and helped edit grammar errors.
Let me know what you think.

OP tinie 4 / 9  
Apr 3, 2012   #3
I have a lot of important events in my life That changed me significantly. That there wasone event made an enormous impacted in my life. it all began in the past eight years, Ihad been ordered to report at a rural areas school. far from the mainstream of alldevelopment and progress. but I am so happy and excited to go there. stepped on the first day at school, I had met many wonderful people. teachers here are very friendly and helpful in every matter. The only thing I enjoy most meaningful is to be the head ofEnglish language Panel. Without the experience and knowledge in this field I have many difficulties to adapt in this field. But with the help of my colleagues had succeeded in raising the achievement of students there with many awards and recognition in manycompetitions and examinations. I am very proud of this achievement being able to raise the name of the school and the people here are very grateful.

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