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A Treacherous Trip to Ratchaprapa Dam

puppy1111 3 / 4 3  
Dec 4, 2018   #1

A gigantic water bucket

A Treacherous Trip to Ratchaprapa Dam for most travelers, Ratchaprapa dum may be a favorite place travel, but it is nothing but a treacherous gigantic water bucket, which has killed many people, for me. To begin with, my family decided to have a wonderful trip to Ratchaprapa dam, and it was delightful t see. When I see the dam for the first time, I can look at these sapphire water and verdant humongous mountains, which major part of them wave downed under the dam, with out blinking. At the horizon of sky, there wave groups of gloomy cloud gathering in distant. After that, we had to put on these stinky orange life jackets before we immediately cruised to our rooms due to the drizzle. While we were cruising to the rafts, I notice that my life jacket's belt was tear apart by an old rusty, nail hanged on the boat's pillar, but I didn't give much attention to it due to my swimming skill. Finally, I fell in to the water, and I was almost sent to heaven. Due to the face that the boat were intensively shaken by a immense tide, I fell into almost 100 meter deep water , and my jacket had already floated away from me. In the water, it was dark, quiet, and chilly; I almost lost my consciousness, and I felt like there were lot of invisible hands that tried to drag me down to the bottom of the dam; however, I gathered my remaining strength, and I use every last breath from my feeble body to struggle myself up to the surface; therefore, I barely survive from the dam's slaughter. To conclude, Ratchaprapa dam may have an alluring scenario, but if the travelers are careless, then it can be fatal at the same time.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,617 2512  
Dec 5, 2018   #2
Thaksanpaphon, please remember that you use the determiner "an" before any word that starts with a vowel or vowel sound. You made that mistake in this essay when you said "... by a immense tide." Then there is the subject-verb agreement situation in the essay where you said "... boat were intensively shaken" when it should have been "was intensively...". You also forgot to hyphenate your essay when presenting connected reference words like "100-meter-deep" in your writing. I am also not sure if you meant to say "dum" or "dam" in this essay. You also need to brush up on the use of connecting words such as when you said "favorite place travel". The correct presentation is "favorite place TO travel." You need to familiarize yourself with similar sounding words in English. " with out" is different from "without". "With out" means in the absence of while "without" means to be deprived of.

Most of your errors in this essay are related to word confusion on your part. Something that can be corrected once you better understand the meaning of similar sounding, but different meaning words. You also need to remember that timelines are important when writing narratives such as these. So you either write about the present ( I notice you are not wearing a jacket) or the past (I noticed my life jacket belt was...) To correct these errors, you need to keep on reading English materials and writing in English. Downloading the English grammar apps will also help you with your grammar lessons and it can also provide you with useful practice tasks to help you put your lessons into actual use. Your errors should diminish as you become more adept at writing in English.

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