Our Trip Our Adventure in Jambi - Narrative Essay

My essay writing assignments this week is writing a narrative essay which is need 1000 words. i never try to write narrative essay before. so, I would like you all to correct me if i made mistakes and tell me whether i was right or not. Thank you...

Our Trip Our Adventure in Jambi

In the summer of 2016, after 2 years living and studying in Australia, I decided to go on a birding trip. I chose my home town for the destination. Yet I was not alone, I invited three of my friends to come with me to Jambi. They were very excited and eager to see the beautiful places in Jambi.

After made some plans we decided to go to Jambi by Plane. We used Garuda Airline and it took 7 hours for us arrived in Jambi. We decided to go by plane because we thought that it was so efficient than we took other transportation such as ship or car.

Then, we were looking for accommodation after arrived in Jambi. Because of this is my home town so we were be able to stay in my parents' house in Jambi City and having our lunch there. We slept in my parents' house for 3 days.

On the first day of our trip in Jambi, we went to Muaro Jambi and visited Muaro Jambi Temple. Archaeological Site Muaro Jambi Temple Complex is the largest Hindu-Buddhist temple complex in Indonesia. We took an hour by car to go to that place. After arrived and entering to this place there was some temples that looked very historic. Among the temples, High temple was a temple that encountered first by us. We climbed up to the top through the stairs. In addition there was Gumpung temple which also very pretty, because of its location on a wide field. In addition to witnessing the splendor of the temple, in the temple complex Gumpung there was also a lake, based on information the lake was a bathing place of the ancient kings. It was very interesting.

Second place that we visited was Gentala Arasy Bridge. It is one of the icons in Jambi. This bridge was built in 2012 and was inaugurated by Mr. Jusuf Kalla as Vice President at that time. There were two objects in this location, the tower of Gentala Arasy and Pedestrian Bridge. The shape of Gentala Arasy Bridge that resembles the letter "S" is a stretch of winding over Batang Hari River that roughly about 530 meters long. We would not encounter vehicles that cross on the pedestrian bridge. Gentala Arasy Bridge at night was more beautiful, with colorful lights that highlight the bridge pillars. At the end of the bridge, clearly marked "Jambi Kota Seberang" and on the other side is the words "Gentala Arasy". Spent the night on the Gentala Arasy Bridge was really an exciting thing ever.

On the next day my friend and I went to Kerinci. We wanted to have some nature adventures. It took 12 hours to go to Kerinci by car, even though it would be a very long trip we still excited to visit beautiful places in Kerinci. Me and my friends were accompanied by my college friend who lives in kerinci. He showed us the way some great places to visit in the kerinci. We called him Randa.

The first place that we visited in Kerinci was the Mount Kerinci (also known as Gunung Kerinci), standing at 3805m, is the highest volcano in Indonesia and the highest peak in Sumatra. After saw the splendor of the Mount Kerinci, we continued our trip to Danau Gunung Tujuh. We went up the hill to about 2100 m and then down to the Lake. It took us about 3 hours of relaxed walking to reach the Lake where we had a lunch arranged by Randa and swam in the fresh water. We were using our aqua shoes as there was no good way to enter the water with bare foot, because we might step on a sharp rock or a slippery tree trunk. On the way to the Lake, Randa shared with us his deep knowledge, love and respect for jungle. He did a great job finding, showing and explaining us about flora and fauna of the jungle. We saw a Siamang monkey, many birds and interesting plants (wild orchids, ginger flowers, pitcher plants, ratan tree, iron tree, cinnamon tree etc.).

The second place in Kerinci that made us so excited to see was Hot Spring Gao Semurup. There was available a safe pool for tourists to soak. In this pool, we enjoyed the warmth of sulfur-flavored water to relax. In addition, natural hot springs can also cure some diseases. After bathing, we also tried to boil eggs and bananas in hot water springs. We asked the guard of the pool to do this. No need to wait for so long, the eggs were ready for us to eat. Accompanied by a rustic atmosphere in this place made the food more delicious.

After all of our trip finished, my friend and I went back to my parents' house in Jambi city. We still had a few days more in Jambi. We just stayed home and do nothing because the previous days we had spent a lot of energy. So we used the rest of the time to rest before returning to Australia.

While in Jambi and Kerinci we tried many typical foods. One of them was Tempoyak. This is the most famous food which is comes from Jambi. Tempoyak made from fermented durian fruit. So when I ate it, it was so sour and had a strong smell. Other foods that we eat were Nasi Gemuk and Dodol Kentang Kerinci. We ate Nasi Gemuk for breakfast meanwhile we can eat Dodol Kentang Kerinci anytime. The other typical food in Jambi is Padamaran cake. Padamaran cake is a traditional cake originated from Jambi with the main ingredient of rice flour and coconut milk. This cake is very soft, with a savory taste. It is very delicious to eat.

We also buy souvenirs to take home. The most special souvenir that we bought is Batik Jambi. Batik Jambi is one of the culture of Jambi. Batik Jambi is a fabric that has a very beautiful motif which is made by hand. Although it was quite expensive but it was worth to buy.

After spent more than a week in Jambi my friends and I back home to Australia. While in Jambi I felt very happy. Besides I can meet my parents, I also felt proud to be able to show the beautiful places that are in Jambi to my friends which came from overseas. Saw them who loved to eat Jambi's food also made me happy. Furthermore, introducing Jambi culture to them will also be an unforgettable story for me.

Nuraya, your narrative essay is too broad in scope and should use the first pronouns "Me, myself. and I" as often as possible. In a narrative essay, the writer, as the one who experienced the story first hand, is the story teller. That is why the first person pronoun is used. While your friends are also characters in the story, you need to separate them in terms of reference. Their actions need to separate from your own. If you wish to, you may use dialogue to remove the redundancy of the single point of view. Before you can do that though, you first need to narrow down the story that you are telling.

With a 1000 word maximum it would be best for you to narrate the adventure that happened at one place only. That way, you can fully engage the reader in the events as these unfolded for you and your group. Begin the essay by setting up the reason for the activity. Why did you decide to go bird watching? Then create the events that led towards that activity. This is when you introduce your friends who accompanied you. Describe your friends and why you wanted each person along with you for the trip. Since this is a limited word essay, pick only one friend to go with you so that you can save the word count. From there, begin the narrative about the trip. How was the plane ride? How did you get to your destination? Those sorts of information. Remember, break up the narrative with an exchange of dialogue between characters whenever possible.

An effective narrative creates an intelligent presentation of events. That means, you are able to engage all the senses of the reader by involving them in the events. Right now, you keep telling us what happened when you should be showing us how it all happened. The instructions I gave you above should help you create a more interesting narrative.

Keep the narrative short. It need not be extremely long nor does it need to cover too many stories. Just like any other essay, focusing on the development of one story presentation is more than sufficient. Pick one adventure and build the narrative story around that.