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It is true that environmental problems are not received care enough from citizens


tramtrieu 1 / -  
Sep 9, 2021   #1
Write about the following topic:

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?



It is true that environmental problems are not received care enough from citizens. While there are some people who have attempted to save our environment, I believe these efforts are not enough to prevent disaster in the future. In the following essay, both these ideas will be discussed.

On the one hand, environmental issues have not been tackled for a long period of time. There is a great deal of research into protecting our Earth which is widely discussed. However, it seems like people do not alarm how important these solutions are since some factors damaging the environment still continue every day. Industrial factories dump their waste into water and land; therefore, these environments become a place for throwing garbage. According to a recent survey, many beautiful rivers in the world turn into landfills. Not only factories but individuals also contaminate our habitat. For instance, instead of riding bicycle, people prefer to ride motorbike or drive a car to work and travel. The more cars they use, the more polluted the environment are.

On the other hand, some people take responsibility for protecting our planet. Knowing environment play a vital key role in human life, people try to save our Earth as possible as they can. More organisations are found to raise funds for conservation program or to find solutions for environmental problems such as GEF, IPPC etc. In addition, environmental issues like global warming, greenhouse effect and so on are taught at school to raise children's awareness and encourage them to avoid affecting our environment.

In conclusion, it is clear that people do not pay attention to these severe issues on a global scale. Nevertheless, if everyone makes an effort, the situation will change positively.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,570 3753  
Sep 10, 2021   #2
It is true that

The writer is making a general statement a fact. A piece of writing that is unnecessary since such a statement does not exist and is not being asked within the original presentation. Such a statement will not increase the scoring consideration. Avoid making unfounded statements in the restatement in the future.

In the following essay, both these ideas will be discussed

The essay has automatically failed at this point. The opinion statement or discussion response is not in line with the discussion requirement. The writer has altered the discussion approach so much, it is no longer connected to the original presentation.

Discussion Question:

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

Response:

In the following essay, both these ideas will be discussed.

While some scores will be applied to the L R and G R A sections, as these are general score considerations, it will not be enough to gain a passing score. Why? The main scoring aspects in relation to logic and comprehension, namely the TA and C + C sections, as based on the original direction, have failed in the presentation.
huyjunnie 3 / 8 3  
Sep 11, 2021   #3
Hi, I would like to point out your errors in your essay.
1. The first grammatical mistake is noticeable in the first line of your introduction.
not received care enough from citizens. → enough care/sufficient care
2. Using the word "enough" one more time is not a good idea.
3. ... both these ideas will be discussed. → You use as if it was a discussion essay. You should only show your agreement/disagreement.
4. Some phrases are not really suitable to an academic context. (it seems like)
5. people do not alarm how important... → using "alarm" makes its meaning weird. "be aware of" is better.
6. You sometimes use "inappropriate" words.
7. ... the more polluted the environment are IS.


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