Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

[GRE] Essay on true leadership - demands alone do not create true leaders.

rosejh88 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2015   #1
Hi, I'm still on my early stages of preparing for the GRE and wanted some help/comments on my essay.
It will be a lot of help to see where I stand and what I'll need to do getting into practicing for the writing section. Thanks!

PROMPT:Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

A leader is someone who leads or guides other individuals, groups, or organizations toward a common goal and a better vision. In what allows the leader be a leader then, is largely based on whether the leader is successful in accomplishing this role. A leader who merely has the title of a leader and is negligent of his or her duties will not be deemed a true leader. The dilemma given, then, is whether it is the external forces that drive people to become a true leader or whether it is the innate virtues that do so. Although external forces, such as demands, may provide an opportunity for a leader to exercise leadership, the demands alone do not create leaders that followers can honestly call a leader. Rather, it is largely the characteristics and attributes held by the leaders themselves that allow proper leadership to take place.

Whether nurtured or innate, personal traits such as decisiveness, charisma, veracity, intelligence, innovativeness, commitment and/or oratory excellence are key to creating a leader. This is because personal traits prompt different decision makings even when confronted with the same demands. Martin Luther King Jr.(MLK), a leader that is venerated until this day by most Americans, is a prime example. Although the demand for racial equality among the African-American population was great, not everyone chose to stand up to actually contest and change the deeply rooted discrimination system nor were many successful in doing so. MLK's courage and commitment made him choose to act and his perseverance, integrity, charisma, and oratory excellence all contributed in making him successful on civil rights movement. His legacy is commemorated today, not only because he merely reacted to the demands of the era, but also because he was a distinguished, gifted person. Demands alone are mere status quo of a country, group, or an organization; it is the determined and prepared people that yields a leader.

Moreover, leaders are oftentimes created even in the absence of demand. Responding to demands is just part of what leaders do. In many instances, true leaders are those that realize needs that people were not even fully aware of. Larry Page, the co-founder of Google and irresistibly one of the leading entrepreneurs of this age, brought the world wide web into a new level, by successfully creating a web-based search engine. Before the creation of Google, the demand for such "web-crawler" was not prevalent, but Larry Page and his partner managed to create a search engine system, which became an indispensable part of modern day lives. Larry Page's success as a leader in the internet entrepreneur field is widely attributed to his intelligence, creativity, and initiative that tried to invent a creation that would change the lives of human, but something nobody had asked for or thought of. As such, leaders are made even in the absence of demands by the people, further vindicating the idea that it is the innate features and characteristics of a person that matter, not demand.

Of course, at times leaders can be seen to be a result of demand, as some leaders, like presidents of a democratic nation, are chosen by the people in need to represent certain needs. Nevertheless, in order to successfully carry out the demands, the so-called chosen leader will have to have sufficient and adequate qualifications. Without such traits, they are likely to be deemed incompetent and a mere leader in semblance. There were 43 presidents in the United States so far, but not everyone is considered as a true leader; some have gained more respect and popularity as a leader than others. Therefore, demands may lead to the advent of a system that selects a leader, but only those qualified will be a suitable leader.

In this sense, a true leader cannot be merely those individuals chosen due to demands, but rather those who are able to carry out and execute goals and vision through scintillating personalities and traits. Therefore, demands alone do not create true leaders.
hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Aug 22, 2015   #2
hi Rose jh88
your essay is very good

but there is one note in the introduction you should specify if you are agree or disagree by saying for example
I agree or I disagree
it seems to me that or in myopinion

Home / Writing Feedback / [GRE] Essay on true leadership - demands alone do not create true leaders.