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Should Tuck Shop Stop Selling 'Junk Food"? - practice essay (article)


shing200584 10 / 1  
Dec 24, 2007   #1
Hello,

This is my third practice. I wonder whether I have used a right style of article and I think it is complicated to use suitable tense in this writing. Please give me feedback! Thanks in advance!

Merry Christmas!


Question:
Your school principal has told the tuck shop to stop selling 'junk food', such as fish balls and soft drinks, in response to the government's campaign to promote healthy eating. However, this policy has evoked a strong reaction from some students who insist on their right to exercise freedom of choice.

You are a reporter for the school newspaper and have just attended a meeting between the principal and representatives of parents, teachers and students. Write an article for the school newspaper describing the viewpoints and arguments of the different parties. Give your article a title.


Should Tuck Shop Stop Selling 'Junk Food'?

A meeting has been launched between the principal and representatives of parents, teachers and students in the aftermath of a decision made by our school principal. She told the tuck shop to stop selling 'junk food' but some students insist on their right to decide whether they should buy it.

In the meeting, the principal restated that the policy is to respond to the government's campaign to promote healthy eating. She believes that school is the most suitable place to coincide with the government for the promotion, because people can change more effectively when they are young.

However, some students showed their disagreement on the statement. They argue that promotion is different from prohibition. The principal should promote the concept of healthy eating but not use the aggressive approach to stop student buying junk food at the school. They also think that the policy is ineffective as the policy cannot prevent students from eating junk food after school. Therefore, the school should provide an environment as same as society, in which 'junk food' is available for everyone to buy, and teach them how to exercise freedom of choice appropriately.

Teachers agree with the principal although they are also affected by the policy. They think that school is a learning place and it should have a higher-standard requirement for the students. Though the prohibition, students can learn how to get used to having no junk food. Also, Students spend most of their time at school; they can eat as less unhealthy food as possible by the policy.

Representatives of parents partly agree with the policy. They think that no parent wants their children eat too much junk food; the policy can help parents monitor their children and prevent them from misusing their pocket money. However, they think that the policy is going too fast to be accepted by the students. The policy should be launched step by step as it may be uneasy for some students to adapt and it has caused a strong reaction from them. Besides, some parents suggest that the tuck shop can launch some new healthy food, such as salad and fruits, as substitutes for junk food.

Unexpectedly, some students, most of them are girls, strongly agree with the prohibition. They think that the sale of 'fat food', such as fish balls and soft drinks, was always a temptation. They were tempted by the food even they didn't go near the tuck shop. They saw their peers eating it; then went to buy it. Therefore, they think that the policy help them a lot to prevent from the temptation as well as the 'peer-pressure' because no assess can they buy it at school.

At the end of the meeting, the principal approved the suggestion of the parents and promised to apply a moderate approach to respond to the government's campaign. She said she would tell the tuck shop to stop selling 'junk food' in phases and introduce new healthy food.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Dec 29, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You've written a very good essay! I agree that the tense can be a little tricky in this kind of writing. Certainly, when you are discussing something that took place at a meeting which already happened, you want to use past tense. However, when you are discussing attitudes which are currently held by the people involved, it can be appropriate to use present tense. Here are some editing suggestions for you:

She believes that school is the most suitable place to coordinate with the government's promotion, because people can change more effectively when they are young.

However, some students expressed their disagreement with the statement.

The principal should promote the concept of healthy eating but not use such an aggressive approach to stop students from buying junk food at the school.

Therefore, the school should provide an environment the same as that in society,

Through the prohibition, students can learn how to get used to having no junk food. Also, students spend most of their time at school; they can eat as little unhealthy food as possible by the implementation of this policy.

They think that no parent wants their children to eat too much junk

The policy should be launched step by step as it may be difficult for some students to adapt and it has caused a strong reaction from them.

Unexpectedly ["Surprisingly" would be a better word here], some students, most of them [delete "are"] girls, strongly agree with the prohibition.

They were tempted by the food even though they didn't go near the tuck shop. They saw their peers eating it, then went to buy it. Therefore, they think that the policy helps prevent temptation and limit 'peer-pressure' because with no access, they cannot buy junk food at school.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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